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Brought to you by Larry Gigli's "The Hits Keep Coming" Hitman Services....sorta.
Gigli won MANY Razzie awards including Worst Picture. It sits at #71 on the IMDB Bottom 100. So we thought we'd give it a go. The plot seems awesome so we're pretty excited. Can it be THAT bad or was its poor reception be caused by "Beniffer" backlash?
If you were going to remake The Beastmaster, who would you cast as Dar (Marc Singer), Kiri (Tanya Roberts), Maax (Rip Torn), and Seth (John Amos)?
Take 1 kidnapped diplomat's son, a country that only has bad guys in it, one guy how is a bit of a dick, 9 strippers, shake and stir and you've got Hell Squad. We aren't really sure what this movie is (other than ridiculous), is it a comedy or action movie?
The story is so dumb that I can only figure that its supposed to be a joke, but its presented in such a manner that makes it seem like its a solid premise for an action movie. However, jokes abound that may or may not be funny in the film. One lady can't use a rifle because he boobs are too big, there's a water shortage in Karajan so the girls all have to use the bath tub at once (and everyday) and spoiler alert - there's a Scooby-Doo ending.
With that all said, Hell Squad is a really good time and a very underrated bad movie. It's inept film-making at its best with a completely ridiculous story and presentation. You can watch it twice in a row because of how much laughing at it you'll do the first time around. We recommend it greatly.
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Brought to you by Z-Nationwide Insurance, making sure your dead loved ones.....stay dead.
It's Sam's week to pick a movie and he's got Hell Squad on deck. Looks like a bunch of strippers become mercenaries and save the world or something. We've also got a special guest coming for the full episode and he says this is one of his favorite bad movies so hopes are high we can hit another home run with finding a great bad movie.
Why aren't there more dongs in movies?
Here's the deal...this movie rules. Period. It has instantly gone into our Hall of Fame because it does everything right in both good storytelling and horrendously terrible film-making. It is as good to watch as any "good" movie and is only topped by the very creme of the crap in bad movies. There may only be a handful of movies better to view than Deadly Prey and we couldn't argue with anyone if they put it at the top of their list. It's that good.
So we rarely say this, but stop what you are doing - don't listen to this podcast episode, go watch Deadly Prey and then come back. Nothing is more important to you right now. Trust us.
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Brought to you by Cutoffs and Mullets. Do you love white-trash reality shows? Then you'll love the newest reality show to hit TLC!
David A. Prior brings to us his brother Ted, with one of the best hair-dos ever to make the big time. It's another possible "Hall of Fame" candidate that has a series of "10 star" user reviews on IMDB. This thing better deliver because it looks like its going to.
If you are a super rich hunting afficionado, and you could hunt anything from any movie, what would it be?
Cynthia Rothrock builds a team of elite tough gals made up of Zoe Bell, Kristanna Loken, Vivica A. Fox, and Nicole Bilderback to take down a broad-shouldered Brigitte Nielsen who is hell bent on being the CEO of a bad-guy factory. With the power of plot convenience and inept villains, the team invade "The Citadel" to spring the kidnapped First Daughter and maybe some sex slaves.
So as a whole, it's a unexpectedly decent action movie. It's silly and hooky here and there but executes its goals well especially with Christopher Olen Ray's directing. He honors his father well and we hope to see more from him in the future.
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This week we are turning to Netflix for the Christopher Olen Ray action lady team-up Mercenaries (Netflix Link), starring Cynthia Rothrock, Zoe Bell, Kristanna Loken, Vivica A. Fox, Bridgitte Nielsen and Nicole Bilderback. It's an Asylum film so we are a little nervous about it...
Must haves for a movie mercenary
Christopher Lambert (the T is silent apparently) dons the role of Beowulf and defends an outpost from Grendel, one of the "damned" who is a monster surrounded by a fart cloud, and his super horny mother. To defeat this evil duo, Beowulf must use his endless array of MI6-like weapon/gadgets and a series of flips and hand-springs. How many denizens of the outpost will survive before Beowulf gets the job done (spoiler alert - just 1)?
We loved Beowulf. It is soooo dumb in the good way. The movie keeps moving at all times, with one laughable sequence after another. Its one of the most riffable movies we've seen recently and we highly recommend it. Not Hall of Fame material but a good effort.
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This week we prepare ourselves for the 1999 version of the classic poem with Christopher Lambert as the title character. Things to watch out for: How many back flips over the camera, how many times Lambert can't see anything, and how many times he cares too much. The movie is currently on Netflix so check it out and come back when we review the movie in full.
What does "Best Picture" mean to you? What things do you look for in a film to make you think it should win "Best Picture"?
Godfrey Ho or one of his 1000 other aliases, directs this stunning look into one man's child neglect issues and the subsequent internal conflicts that come about....mainly crazy mullet painting, eyeball collecting, insane kung fu fights and taking your shirt off.
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