IN WHICH Sweeney Todd is almost caught by a nest of highway robbers while running for it, after the lapidary he tried to fence the pearls to smelled a rat and shouted "stop thief"; the loathesome Pastor Lupin gets very drunk and tries to swindle his way to Johanna's sweet favors by working on her mother, but is taken down a peg by Mr. Oakley's cousin, a burly beefeater named Ben; and Colonel Jeffery tries to investigate Sweeney Todd's shop for evidence of his friend Thornhill.

A tip-top welcome to all you arch doxies, rum coves, fly Corinthians and knights of the brush and moon! Welcome to the chaffing crib! It’s another Saturday night, wherefore 'tis time to schuck yer flyers and put up yer pins. Fill yer flickers with clear blue lightning, sluice yer blessed ivories with a healthy noggin of same, and swivel yer lugs my way, because another rare bit of chaffery in the form of the Penny Dreadful Story Hour is upon us like Dick Turpin on a chawbacon’s swag on market day!