In this episode, after thirty-eight years, I have uncovered the root of my biggest, loudest, deepest-rooted limiting belief: "I am never chosen."

First of all, always listen to your intuition. No one knows you better than you know yourself. I’ve always known that there was still something in the root of my subconscious that was getting in the way of me being my fullest self. I’ve known since I was fifteen years old that I was getting in my own way, that self-sabotage was consistently rearing its ugly head, and that my confidence, mental health, and ability to show up and deliver what I knew I was truly capable of was sorely affected.

Then the universe slapped me in the face.

This massive self-evolutionary epiphany came to me amidst feeling like a complete and utter failure. My system shut down, but sometimes, if you’re truly present and open to accepting your wave of emotions, you'll be able to hear the truth.

I have spent my entire life feeling like I am never chosen because of the actions of a very insecure twenty-six year old man, and for the first time, that experience was separate from my own self worth. I had decided that this experience of abandonment at such a fundamental age ‘meant’ that I was unworthy, unloveable, never chosen, that something was wrong with me, etc. I had decided those things, but it never meant any of those things. All this experience meant was that this particular insecure twenty-six year old man that wasn’t ready to be a father. It wasn't about me. It was never about me. It has absolutely nothing to do with me.

Then came my second epiphany: the definition of 'talent'.

We only seem to celebrate the things that we work hard at and therefore eventually achieve. We never seem to celebrate the things that come natural to us, as in... the things we’re talented at. I then realised that I have never felt talented because I’ve downplayed every single natural gift I’ve ever had, and to me, the definition of talent = natural ability. 

And that leads me once again to the definition of success. 

We've been taught to want what everyone else wants, and no one has taken the time to teach us how to discover what it is we truly want, or taught us the confidence to want what nobody else wants. We all want to make that post on Instagram, to share our accomplishments on social media, to gain that external validation, because we've been taught to want what everyone else wants because that’s what (we think) makes us feel successful.

But it doesn’t.

In this episode, I opened pandora’s box, and I set myself free. I moved the last boulder.

Other thoughts include...

There is nothing more powerful than consistency. You have the biggest impact when you’re trying not to make an impact. No one knows what you need or what you can do more than you do. And for the love of god, celebrate your natural gifts.

YOU ARE TALENTED.

C x