The Penny Dreadful Variety Hour: An Early Victorian Feast of Crammers and Moonshine!

031: Trapped in the Murderers' House! — Is This the Vampire? — The Vaults Give Up their Secrets — plus more flash-cant words!


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IN WHICH —

0:07:00: THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON, Ch. 2:

  • Having ducked into a strange house to escape the rain just before someone came home, the well-dressed youth scampers upstairs ahead of the newcomers and ducks into the farthest room. Luckily the newcomers enter the other room, and light a candle, and start taking some refreshments; but then the lad overhears them talking of burglaries, and murders, and a trap-door in the house that dead bodies once were flung down into the River Fleet, which runs subterraneously under the house … the youth is desperate to get out, but he can’t leave without them seeing him! Is he stuck? Will he be discovered and caught and killed?


0:25:30: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 14:

  • Sir Francis Varney brings wine out for Henry and Mr. Marchdale, but does not drink any himself. Henry, increasingly convinced Varney is in fact a vampire – the vampire – struggles and dithers as Marchdale tries to help him hold himself together. He wonders if he has a duty to destroy the vampire. Then Marchdale helpfully reminds Henry that poor Flora, having been bitten by a vampire, may be turning into one too …


0:55:30: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 52:

  • Sir Richard Blunt descends into the vaults, followed reluctantly by the beadle and churchwarden. Soon figuring out they are going to be more hinderance than help, Sir Richard hurries ahead, leaving them in darkness… so, what will he find down there? We’ll be finding out soon …


(Sponsored by SIR BERTRAM'S AUTHENTIC ROYAL TITLES! For less than the price of a coach-and-four, YOU can become a Marquis, Earl, or even Duke. Don't waste another minute being a humble peasant! Claim your Royal Title today!)


PLUS —

  • Learn what "Mill clapper," "quail pipe," "red rag," "phizog," "hop merchants," "cakey flats," "red thunder," "grunters," "mags," and a few other words meant, in highway-robber slang!


Join Professor Flash, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John. for a 90-minute spree through the story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!

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The Penny Dreadful Variety Hour: An Early Victorian Feast of Crammers and Moonshine!By Pulp-Lit Productions

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