The elusive Robin Bland serves up this dubious dish, with a hefty helping of hairy kebab meat, in 1976's The Brain of Morbius.

But it's still a more appetising proposition than the Liquorice Bootlace Surprise at Chez Mehendri, a Bohemian bistro with a red, white and green wine list.

The latest renegade Time Lord may be half man/half Macra with a goldfish bowl bonce but he's not the only patchwork person around. He's joined by a bearded old crone who's a cross between Chuck Heston and one of his Apes, and a home help who's equal parts Richard III, Liam Gallagher and Abu Hamza.

Sarah goes blind and the Doctor gets blind drunk but sobers up in time to blind the Sisterhood with chimney sweep science. Then Morbius broadsides us with a colossal non-canon ball - the bombshell that Tom Baker is, in fact, the mystery 12th Doctor.

It's lively, it's loony and it's lurid so listen in as Jim and Martin bend their minds in an attempt to make sense of it all.