On today’s podcast, we find out how to be free from your doubts and emotions by stripping away the story and accepting what is truly under your control. 

Luke Iorio is a Conscious Growth Strategist, a Blogger, A Podcaster and President of The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). I love him not only because he has been my coach for 9-years but because he is a wide-angled observer and an enthusiastic participant in the game of life who seeks to ask and answer "What's truly possible?" 

 

Why Are We Fixated on Fixing Ourselves?  [3:59]

Many women have convinced themselves that they are not whole, that they are somehow less than who they truly are. Plus, our psychology leads us towards the idea that we are not enough. It makes it hard to get through the daily stressors of life and then add dating on top of that and it can seem overwhelming. 

Fear naturally occurs in the dating and relationship process. The very beginning is riddled with judgment. We are worried if we will be rejected or if we are enough. It creates stress.  

Luke Iorio says when we interpret messages we receive from other people or from feedback from dating sites we get caught up in the stories we make up in our own heads. 

But, it’s your perception of what happened that is worrisome, what meaning you have associated with the message that is causing the stress and fear. 

We need to get out of our heads a bit and get more present to who we are with and what is going on in the moment. 

 

The Stripping the Story Tool [13:20]

Understanding and accepting that you have made up a story can help you deal with what is real, instead of what is made up about a situation. Look at the truth of the message without your added story. 

When you stay in your own story you risk closing off other possibilities of what the message could mean.  

 

A Formula to Trigger Joy [19:02]

Consider the quality of the experience and the emotions you want to feel when dating. When you get clear about what you would love your experience to include you can figure out how to incorporate this into the present moment. 

When have you felt joy or love? How did it feel? 

When you bring it up you can feel the connection again. It will surface more and more and you can decide how to bring it into the present moment. Ask yourself what questions you could ask you normally wouldn't or what stories you could share?

 

Creating a Shift in Your Conscious Choice [26:44]

All of our experiences shape the way we see the world. To be able to truly make a conscious choice is really difficult. We need to become aware how we see the world. assessment tools, mindfulness, and meditation can help us unwind the biases that affect us from seeing what is going on and affect our decision-making process. 

 

Make a Connection:

Dating with Dignity Website

Relationship Coaching with Marni

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Dating with Dignity on Facebook

@MarniBattista on Twitter

Luke Iorio 

The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching 

Live Lead Play Podcasts