“The earth is hungry. It waits to eat. I can see them. They are the appetite beneath the ground.”

Mark Strickson now regrets snacking on Daz before shooting his key scenes in the 1984 comedy-woodlice fest, Frontios.

And these unrealistic bugs are not the only threat to our bespectacled cricketer, rabid schoolboy and Australian android from the Ministry of Silly Walks. No, there's a meagre monarch, his gruff 'no man', an oaken Orderly and his whiskery chum from the Village People.

But help is at hand in the form of Mr Raaaaaange (science officer and prophet of doom), his comely daughter and, inadvertently, the chief snot-encrusted Tractator - a creature with a nose for a nonsensical plan.

But how offensive is a chicken* vol-au-vent (*other fillings are available)? More or less than an exploding hat-stand? And what is the colony leader doing in Joe 90's egg whisk?

Jim and Martin struggle to answer these questions, while trying not to come to blows over the usage of fingers and tools.

Listen here for the whole sorry saga.