Ireland stays FOREVER IN MY HEART (2019), but: It's Ryan Fitzpatrick again ... Harvard Boy ... Kicked by a donkey or slapped by an elephant's trunk? ... The greatest QB of his era ... BREAK ... Interrupted intro ... Happy birthday! ... Uncular ... Six weeks off ... Annual January depression ... Crown Media sources ... Jeb's dad injuries ... Backup dad Ryan Fitzpatrick ... The 25th best in your world at your job ... Foreign architecture, busted ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... "Are these movies getting worse?" ... Authentic oofs, recycled beats ... Playing with the boys ... Plotless exhaustion ... Overnighter execution ... Prison Planet and creeping seasoning ... The stickiness of unique features ... Flooding the zone, goosing the numbers ... A Mountaintop Removal Christmas ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge: Return to form ... Dalkey ... Plot wrap-up ... Old lady's dirty weekend ... The Twinkling Isle ... Spot the Angel: None! ... My heart will Ashokan Farewell ... Eat Your Heart Out: Incredible-looking food; traditional breakfast and gorgeous scones; tea abundance; 3 beers and Shit London Guinness; David Roth's food fails ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: The Pugsley Hotel Chain vs. Generational wealth from European warfare ... Overdetermined: Bizarrely gentle breakup with Dave vs. Patrick, Charlie and second chances ... Rung up by the Mom Show ... Crossover: The Matchmaker vs. The Quiet Man vs. Local Hero vs. Simply Dave holding back the jokes ... Letters to Santa: Michael T's friend in Hopedale, Dave's visit to Cooperstown, America's Golden Door, and Nick's Quadruple H (Hallmark Holiday Hegemony Hypothesis) ... Adding jargon to more ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Steven R. Monroe and I Spit on Your Grave ... Product placement crisps ... Making the keychains more fun ... "Festival season kicks off in a week!" ... Inspiring and mostly cloudy ... Half a year in Columbus alone ... Confessions for scones ... "Like changing the font?" ... Rating: 2.5 ... Merry Christmas • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "The Sunnyside of the Street," by The Pogues • "Playing with the Boys" by Kenny Loggins • "Hell's Ditch," by The Pogues • "How Could I Be Wrong," by The Auteurs • "The Game (Triple H's Theme)," by Motörhead • "Lullaby of London," by The Pogues • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane