I know, it's late, sorry I'm not perfect!!!

The first 45 minutes the audio is kind of janky due to my assuming Streamyard wouldn't just suddenly change up my settings for no reason, but here is a very fun episode with writer and illustrator Mattie Lubchansky. As the result of having an extremely long commute early in her career, Mattie may be in the top five guests when it comes to how much Real Time they have ingested prior to being on the show, but that doesn't leave her any less aghast at what this episode has in store for her! There's a really... odd New Rule in this one.

Get Mattie's book Simplicity here! Listen to No Gods, No Mayors! Also Listen to Temporal Culture War!

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Look man, if you were one of those people praising Bill Maher for pushing back on Ben Shapiro one single time, I have bad news for you: your ass got played.

Watch one of John's 983 comedy specials here

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Older men loved to introduce millennial women to Real Time with Bill Maher! Women don't dip! Rachel Fisher from the Hollywood Crime Scene podcast joins me to talk about gender TRUTHS and REALITIES! Actually, we primarily talk about Real Time season 3, episode 9. Bill Maher sets a personal record for women over 25 that he's openly attracted to in one episode (two), a panelist has a smug off with the show's host, and a Republican from Wyoming tells Bill Maher not to be so racist against people from the Middle East. Also, it's extremely depressing how recognizable so much of this episode is in comparison to the world around us right now.

If you love gas powered leaf blowers, man, there is a TREAT for you at the end of this thing.

Listen to Hollywood Crime Scene

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Classic episode of Real Time here, and by that I mean it was so boring my guest and I literally hard a hard time finding things to talk about, outside of the midshow comedy bit and the final two minutes of panel discussion. Who was that guest, you ask? Why, it was comedian Brandie Posey, and also thankfully we were given a brief reprieve from the episode by her eighteen year old dog waking up and doing that very throaty whine that chihuahua mixes do. In a new twist on an old classic, Brandie is put through a judgement free LIGHTNING ROUND, and then I sort of slowly turn into a pile of misery mush as I do everything in my power to not have a psychotic episode where I carve David Frum's name all over my body before self-immolating.

Listen to Lady to Lady here.

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00:00: Preshow

2:26: Intro/News

7:45: Questions

12:25: Real Time Recap

1:31:35: Psychic Damage/Plus/Final Questions

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THIS IS A PREVIEW OF THE PATREON EXCLUSIVE EPISODE OF "I ESPECIALLY HATE BILL MAHER"

We just ended up recording for too long for me to get this thing out with only like a six hour turnaround, so here is Woody Allen on Club Random, one day late, featuring actual Woody Allen fan (but not defender, don't worry) Andrea More. Obviously, given who the Club Random guest is, I simply must slap a content warning on here for talk of childhood sexual abuse; we also talked how strange it is that Bill Maher shows so little interest in, or ability to, talk about Woody Allen's work as a filmmaker considering what a huge fan he claims to be, the pathetic sympathy old men inherently pull out of you, and how one of these guys does a pretty good job (from a PR standpoint) of talking about being accused of sexual assault, while the other demonstrates pretty much the worst way to do it. It was a deeply strange conversation, one that I can't imagine Woody Allen's fans and true believers enjoyed very much, and neither one of us ends up particularly clear on why Bill Maher even wanted to have it.

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It may be two days late, but it was all worth it because this week on the podcast I am joined by David Roth (a co-founder of Defector Media, as well as a host of The Distraction) to talk about having always had Bill Maher just sort of around, in the periphery, kind of bothering you at a low level all the time. Then we get into Real Time season 3, episode 7, and both remember a time in culture that was, too say the least, quite bad. Bill Maher continues to beg for Republicans to give him this one, Arianna Huffington tries her best, Ian McShane has more charisma than facts, and New Rules get a little weird. Lots of brain poisoned internet references in this one.

Please, read Defector, and listen to The Distraction

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I have no idea why I kept banging on my mic arm, but not much I can do about it now!

This week the show takes look into the past, but way less of the past than normal, when I am joined by writer/TV PhD haver Laura Langlade to talk about Real Time, season 13, episode 20, and episode whose taping SHE LITERALLY ATTENDED. Before that, we talk about Bill Maher as a way to bond with your politics knower Father, and the moment when you well and truly internalize someone is an absolute creep. Than it's on to the episode, where Bill Maher gets jealous of Bernie Sanders, actually gives it to one of his conservative guests (until he doesn't) and then let's the brittle, poisonous presence of Ann Coulter ruin everything.

Call the show at 323-KILN-SAP (323-545-6727)

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Real Time returns after a five week hiatus and THIS is what we get?!?! Podcaster and journalist Alex Goldman was my guest this week, and not only was this his first ever full episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, but it was also one of the most uninspired episodes of television I personally have ever seen. We talk about Alex's fairly low level of Maher familiarity, some questions about how he would handle Bill Maher's particular personality quirks, and then get down to a particularly joke light episode of Real Time. Does Maher touch on the topics I was so curious to see if he'd get to? Did he mention his penchant for mine spelunking? Was there Zohran talk? Epstein? FOR HAMAS?! LISTEN AND FIND OUT (or don't, it's not really a big deal).

Listen to, perhaps even financially support Hyperfixed here!

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Heads up: this episode is NOT covering the most recent episode of Real Time, that episode will be out next week due to a scheduling error on my part. Instead, you're getting next week's episode this week, which is great because writer Eoin Higgins, the man who had to endure the post-White House Dinner Episode™ is back, and this time he's getting a good look at Classic Maher™. As so often happens, things take a sharp turn STRAIGHT DOWN towards the end of the episode, and neither of us liked it AT ALL.

Buy Eoin's book here

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Look, this was supposed to just be essentially a mini episode to check up on what's been on Bill Maher's mind during his five months off, but I'm exporting the clips now and the file is almost twenty minutes long so clearly this is going to be much closer to a full episode. Really, I just want to know if and how much he will talk about Zohran. So I went down into the mine, and this was what was down there. Guests will resume next week.

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