If cocaine sniffing yuppies who can no longer get a beer after 1.30am is your thing, then rest easy knowing you can now listen to our Sydney Swans 2016 Primer while Ubering you're way home from the Ivy, or whatever crap club you frequent that now shuts at sunset.Saddle in with your left over sixer of Tooheys as we literally run down our expectations for Sydney. Literally as in we thought they would do better until our intensive research department went through the numbers, and we had to run down our original expectations. If the Swans are to win another flag, they need to improve their win loss record against the top 8. We have no suggestions on how to do it, only observe that they are crap at doing it.All hope is not lost though Swans fans. Heeney is looking like Warrick Capper and Dale Thomas (pies version) mash up, and will generate excitement amongst the young Swannies. Will the pairing with newly recruited Callum Mills be the next evolution of the Sydney Swans?The chopping block is a busy...

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