JESSIE OPOIEN returns for PARIS, WINE AND ROMANCE (2019) and: Quality ultimatum ... Episode NINE??? ... Pandemic saved by a dog ... Microwaved hot dog ... Time has no meaning, dinnertime doubly so ... Does this feel "pandemic good"? ... Would endorse ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot mop-up ... This pinot's made in...OREGON CITY??? ... No conflict ... Pairing wine with Hallmark ... Respectable dialogue ... Moderately feminist crushing ... Bulgaria vs. Pregnancy ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: Lacey and Uncle Trav give it a go ... Classic Lines: How fashionable; cute but floppy; dull dress and putty-ass shoes; platinum script, bronze budget; Don Johnson jacket ... Eat Your Heart Out: Standard escargots; cleaning snails; bizarro Oregon wine takes; 400 wines and cheeses; the Eiffel Tower actually...; Ritchie Ritch ... BREAK ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: La Chabert in Rome; Ski resort wine and aristocratic stock ... Overdetermined: "No" vs. wine pairings, wine touting flavor-untasted, the City of Love ... Crossover: It's already mostly a regular movie vs. Sideways in Paris ... Lolita Davidovich callback to Episode 77 ... Creeping by the elevator ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: ??? ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Anton the Oregon wine buyer ... Selling "perfect" ... Identifying wine blindfolded ... Rating: 3 ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Endorsing this movie ... The West coast wine blogger is going to post that right now ... Gallic relaxation ... Hittin' the parfumerie ... The unforgettable woman ... Open-flame hazard ... Plugs! ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "A Shot in the Dark," by Henry Mancini • "Un Jeune Homme Bien," by Petula Clark • "The Summer Wind," by Martin Prince (Feat. Frank Sinatra) • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane • LINKS: Follow Jessie, check out her podcast.