Dracula’s an idiot.

We all know that he’s desperate for some eternal rumpy pumpy (let’s be honest, who isn’t?) and yes, he’s been resourceful enough to have found a mail order company that delivers brides by the crate-load, but that’s where his smarts end.

He lives in a remote country house surrounded by a fence made of wooden stakes!

His garden is full of vampire-lethal hawthorn bushes!

His house is protected by a CCTV system that can’t see him!

He has a sprinkler system, which is the same as deadly running water (and doesn’t stop his house from burning down anyway)!

I wouldn’t be surprised if his car’s got a sun-roof.

We never find out exactly what his company does but I’m willing to bet it makes pencils….or garlic bread.