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Is there a better way to celebrate the 60th Anniversary of Doctor Who than by ignoring it completely and talking over the 10th Anniversary of Doctor Who? Nope, didn't think so.

Some monks living on a hill are being terrorised by some giant furry things that may or may not be yeti. A mad explorer tries to get them to eat the Doctor (the yeti, not the monks) but they’re not interested because they’ve been trained by someone invisible who sounds like a pervert. The Doctor realises that the yeti’s one weakness is their balls. A sure fire way to incapacitate the male of any species; No wonder they feel abominable.

The Doctor does his best Lara Croft impersonation when some maths teachers try to take over what looks like an intergalactic ice cream factory. But it all comes down to the wires when the factory boss has a quarrel with the Hulk’s thinner, less chatty cousin and is ultimately defeated by a closed door (this happens a lot so clearly they’re more used to open-plan architecture). The guy in charge of the budget must have been so relieved when he saw designs for this story’s spaceship. And who decided to name one of the villains after an item of clothing? Still, could’ve been worse, she could have been called Duffle Coat……or Thong. Lucky escape.

The village is the worst place in the world. It has the worst fair election campaign, the worst party guest, the worst personal assistant, the worst inspiring speeches, the worst town council meeting, the worst internal security system, the worst attempt to pretend you’re not surreptitiously keeping an eye on someone when you quite clearly are, the worst secret drinking establishment and the worst person to have a drink in the worst secret drinking establishment. Doesn’t matter if it’s water, tea or genuine fake alcohol, one drop of anything and this top level spy keels over; it’s a good thing he doesn’t try the milk And don’t get me started on the numbering system.

A man resigns from a job he doesn’t want, packs for a holiday and has a good old sleep on the way there. Staying in a well-furnished holiday cottage with a full maid service, during the days he goes for a ride on a helicopter, watches a local concert, wins a talent contest, plays with a beach ball down by the sea and goes for a boat ride with a rather nice woman he appears to be having a holiday romance with. All in all it’s a show about a bloke having a nice time. Bit dull really.
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