The village is the worst place in the world.

It has the worst fair election campaign, the worst party guest, the worst personal assistant, the worst inspiring speeches, the worst town council meeting, the worst internal security system, the worst attempt to pretend you’re not surreptitiously keeping an eye on someone when you quite clearly are, the worst secret drinking establishment and the worst person to have a drink in the worst secret drinking establishment.

Doesn’t matter if it’s water, tea or genuine fake alcohol, one drop of anything and this top level spy keels over; it’s a good thing he doesn’t try the milk

And don’t get me started on the numbering system.