Are you ill? Do you suffer from common diseases, like influenza, diphtheria and death? If the answer to that question is yes, then this new miracle cure from Jekyll Pharmaceutikills is for you.

Made from hormones and..erm..stuff, this green wonder liquid can cure all ailments! Simply take the daily recommended dose (several regular bottle-fulls whenever you feel like it) and before you can say ‘it wasn’t me, guv’, you’ll feel like a new man. Or woman. Or both.

Warning - this product WILL cause loss of appetite, hairy knuckles, genital disappearance, bi-sexual, schizophrenic trans-gender killing sprees and an aversion to opera.