On this week's episode: The President keeps asking what his handcuff size is just in case ... A 17-year-old reenacts every flight Noah's ever taken on United ... And Donald Trump catches Nancy Pelosi red-handed doing both THIS and THAT.

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Headline Sources:

We impeached the motherfucker but he's not going anywhere:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/19/us/politics/impeachment-trump-senate-trial.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

https://www.forbes.com/sites/rachelsandler/2019/12/18/two-lone-democrats-vote-against-impeachment/#747f2fea2cd8

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2019/12/19/heres-how-long-pelosi-should-hold-onto-articles/

Teenager steals plane and runs it into a fence: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/fresno-teen-plane-theft_n_5dfbee98e4b01834791dfce8

Trump threatens shut down over releasing aid to Ukraine: https://www.washingtonpost.com/us-policy/2019/12/20/trump-administration-demanded-democrats-strip-ukraine-aid-language-spending-package/

Trump thinks we need to make dishwashers explode again and thinks he's The Godfather: https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/12/19/trump-was-impeached-dishwashers-that-go-boom-are-his-mind/

https://nypost.com/2019/12/19/trump-tweets-post-impeachment-meme-to-supporters-theyre-after-you/

Visibly Damp Papa John’s Founder Says He Ate 40 Pizzas In 30 Days In Viral Interview: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/papa-johns-john-schnatter-40-pizzas_n_5ddd413ae4b00149f724b7cf

Trump officially launches the “Space Force”: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/space-force-will-start-small-but-let-trump-claim-a-big-win/2019/12/20/dd781bfa-2393-11ea-b034-de7dc2b5199b_story.html