On this week's episode: Trump proposes ruining even MORE countries ... This simulation’s comic relief needs to stop saying “at least social media couldn’t get any worse” ... And we learn how a mysterious new sonic weapon could affect your weekend.

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Headline Sources:

Trump wants to take over Canada, Greenland, and the Panama Canal: https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/08/politics/trump-greenland-canada-panama-analysis/index.html

TikTok ban goes before Supreme Court: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/09/us/politics/tiktok-supreme-court-national-security-free-speech.html

Meta backtracks on fact checking and allows hate speech against trans people: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2025/1/10/meta-facebook-to-drop-fact-checkers-what-does-this-mean-for-social-media

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/meta-new-hate-speech-rules-allow-users-call-lgbtq-people-mentally-ill-rcna186700

Meta scrambles to delete its own AI accounts after backlash intensifies: https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/03/business/meta-ai-accounts-instagram-facebook/index.html

Trump gets deferred sentence, because there is no law if enough stupid people like you: https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2025/01/10/trump-sentencing-hush-money-conviction-merchan/

Biden Officials Say the Truth About Havana Syndrome Is Still Unknown: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/10/us/politics/havana-syndrome-causes.html

On this week's episode: Our nation prepares for a second Trump insertion ... 77 of the smartest people in the world are standing like that disappointed cricket guy meme with their hands on their hips ... And you can smell like steak and ketchup for one easy payment of $199.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://twitter.com/susie_dent

Headline Sources:

FBI Director Chris Wray to resign: https://edition.cnn.com/2024/12/11/politics/fbi-director-chris-wray-steps-down/index.html

Kash Patel set to take over FBI: https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/02/politics/who-is-kash-patel-trump-fbi-director/index.html

Amazon and Meta donate $1M each to Trump's inauguration fund: https://apnews.com/article/trump-meta-zuckerberg-inauguration-donation-c540bf7c638def11b8428e633965c718

John Fetterman joins Truth Social and calls for Trump pardon: https://www.newsweek.com/john-fetterman-truth-social-donald-trump-pardon-1999420

Trump Backtracks On Campaign Pledge To Bring Down Grocery Prices: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-walks-back-prices-down_n_675af8f3e4b04606476ba6cd

Rep. Nancy Mace says she was 'physically accosted' on Capitol grounds: https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/10/politics/nancy-mace-says-she-was-physically-accosted/index.html

More than 75 Nobel laureates urge Senate to reject RFK Jr: https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/5031298-nobel-laureates-oppose-rfk-jr/

Why Google’s Quantum Computer Chip Willow Is A Game Changer: https://www.forbes.com/sites/timbajarin/2024/12/13/why-googles-quantum-computer-chip-willow-is-a-game-changer/

Trump uses photo of himself with First Lady Jill Biden to announce new fragrance line: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-fragrance-jill-biden-fight-fight-fight-perfumes-cologne/

On this week's episode: All joy and hope and thoughts of a better future are sucked out of the universe ... Democrats embrace states rights ... And Donald Trump offers a no-bid contract to Elon Musk and Swamp Fillers LLC.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://twitter.com/susie_dent

Headline Sources:

We lost an election: AmericaIsTooStupidToBeAlive.com/YouShouldaVotedForHillaryClintonAndKamalaHarris

What are recess appointments and how could Trump use them to fill his Cabinet: https://apnews.com/article/recess-appointments-trump-cabinet-gop-senate-f484a152e152e8495254d1f83877c71a

Cabinet confirmation process and recess appointments, explained: https://www.cnn.com/2024/11/14/politics/cabinet-confirmation-recess-what-matters/index.html

Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to co-head new “Department of Government Efficiency: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/12/us/politics/elon-musk-vivek-ramaswamy-trump.html

Tracking the cabinet picks and roasting their physical appearances: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/interactive/trump-administration-appointees/

Marco Rubio is a dehydrated cyborg video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19ZxJVnM5Gs

Democratic Governors Form a Group to Oppose the Trump Administration: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/13/us/politics/democratic-governors-trump.html

The Onion wins bid to buy Infowars: https://apnews.com/article/onion-buys-infowars-alex-jones-6496f198d141c991087dcd937b3588e9

https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

On this week's episode: You want us to beg you to vote?...cause we’ll beg! ... Noah offers you a million dollars with the exact same intention of sticking to it as Elon Musk ... And there's a dead-alive cat in a ballot box called American democracy as you hear this.

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Headline Sources:

This is how voting works and you need to do it: YouShouldHaveVotedForHillaryClinton.com/ponies

America prepares for election misinformation bonanza: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/02/us/politics/donald-trump-kalama-harris-campaign.html

In a first since 1938, kids in Des Moines trick-or-treat on Halloween: https://apnews.com/article/beggars-night-des-moines-iowa-halloween-26710c8e3564d461b6868313f7f71425

Tucker Carlson explains that Trump is "Daddy" and America needs a spanking: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/oct/24/tucker-carlson-speech-trump-spanking

Cheese theft in England: https://apnews.com/article/great-cheese-theft-london-cheddar-jamie-oliver-fbaf6d697cd5c7e00de1c95d33837d52

Russia Court fines Google $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cdxvnwkl5kgo

On this week's episode: TikTok notices that their fingers appear to be in some kind of steeple ... Mitch McConnell says the ridiculously obvious ... And we learn that the logical endpoint of AI singularity is a literal gaping butthole.

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Headline Sources:

Kentucky Public Radio publishes redacted documents about TikTok lawsuit without redactions: https://www.npr.org/2024/10/11/g-s1-27676/tiktok-redacted-documents-in-teen-safety-lawsuit-revealed

https://www.npr.org/2024/10/12/g-s1-28040/teens-tiktok-addiction-lawsuit-investigation-documents

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/10/11/tiktok-lawsuit-children-addiction-mental-health/

McConnell privately slammed Trump as ‘stupid’ and ‘despicable’ after 2020 election: https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/4938254-mitch-mcconnell-donald-trump-2020-election-book/

Elon Musk’s robots are fake: https://arstechnica.com/ai/2024/10/reports-teslas-prototype-optimus-robots-were-controlled-by-humans/

Steven Seagal Said He Was 'Ready To Die for Russia' in Letter to Putin: https://www.newsweek.com/steven-seagal-vladimir-putin-russia-letter-1967638

Georgia strikes down new Trump-backed election rules: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cx2kv219d2go

AI agent makes millions on meme coin:

https://cryptobriefing.com/goat-coin-surge-ai-impact/

https://www.coindesk.com/news-analysis/2024/10/16/crypto-degens-baited-an-experimental-ai-bot-into-promoting-a-token-its-now-up-16000/

https://www.tiktok.com/@nate.b.jones/video/7426361786862931231?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7270609151578310186

On this week's episode: JD Vance fails to human ... The taxpayer funded Oklahoma Bible story somehow manages to get worse ... And a family values Republican steals a family because of its value.

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Headline Sources:

Walz/Vance debate:

https://www.cnn.com/2024/10/02/politics/vp-debate-key-lines-what-matters/index.html

Gilead Agrees to Allow Generic Version of Groundbreaking H.I.V. Shot in Poor Countries: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/02/health/lenacapavir-hiv-shot-prep.html

Hurricane Helene conspiracies: https://grist.org/article/fact-checking-the-wild-conspiracies-in-the-wake-of-hurricane-helene/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/10/04/trump-hurricane-helene-fema-money-misinformation/

Childless GOP Candidate Posed With Friend's Wife And Kids For Campaign Video: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/27/us/politics/republican-candidates-wives-ads.html

MAGA candidate says drag queens ruin the military in rant about soldiers eating intestines: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2024/10/gop-maga-candidate-says-drag-queens-are-ruining-the-military-in-bizarre-rant-about-self-cannibalism/

OK School Superintendent who wants to buy 55,000 bibles wants TRUMP Bibles: https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2024/10/04/oklahoma-schools-trump-bible/

On this week's episode: Mark Robinson gets caught being Mark Robinson ... Donald Trump’s stock is checking for remnants of the Titan submersible while it’s down there anyway ... And New York City celebrated happily the day after the debate on September 10th.

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Headline Sources:

Debate recap: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/09/11/presidential-debate-takeaways/

NC governor race jolted by report that GOP nominee called himself a ‘Black Nazi’: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/19/us/politics/mark-robinson-north-carolina-gubernatorial-race.html

DJT stock plunges to incredible new depths: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-media-djt-stock-new-low-lockup-donald-trump

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/trump-lashes-nasdaq-over-routine-143127592.html

RFK Jr. continues being a lunatic: https://www.newsweek.com/robert-kennedy-jr-investigated-collecting-dead-whale-1956501

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/20/business/media/olivia-nuzzi-rfk-jr.html?searchResultPosition=2

Ig Nobel prizes: https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg26335091-900-ig-nobel-prizes-2024-the-unexpected-science-that-won-this-year/

Chinese zoo admits pandas were actually painted dogs: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2024/09/20/travel/guangdong-china-panda-dog-zoo-intl-hnk

On this week's episode: We find out how much it costs to get Nigel Farage out of your town ... RFK Jr. puts an old bicycle on top of his campaign so nobody’ll know how it died ... And Donald Trump is gonna be hosting a treason-based awards show.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://twitter.com/susie_dent

Headline Sources:

Obamas slay at the DNC: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/21/us/politics/michelle-obama-dnc-speech.html

And Trump in a snit after getting roasted: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/23/us/politics/trump-reaction-harris-dnc.html

Farage earns more than £1m a year for non-MP work: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9wjgkr1750o

Farage set to make third visit to US in two months since elected Reform MP: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/article/2024/aug/21/farage-set-to-make-third-visit-to-us-in-two-months-since-elected-reform-mp

Kennedy suspends campaign, endorses Trump: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/08/23/rfk-jr-trump/

Trump will be hosting a "J6 Awards Gala" at Bedminster golf course: https://meidasnews.com/news/trump-will-host-january-6th-awards-gala-in-september

Rioters attack hotel housing asylum seekers amid far-right violence: https://youtu.be/GT36LUdle-I?t=191

Mike Lindell gets absolutely schools by 12 year old at DNC: https://newrepublic.com/post/185161/mypillow-ceo-mike-lindell-fight-child-knowa-dnc

On this week's episode: Tim Walz is proud of you, slugger ... Eli texts us in an attempt to get special dispensation to say slur words on the air (we said no) ... And despite being part oompa loompa and part cotton candy, Donald Trump is baffled by the existence of multiple races.

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Headline Sources:

JD Vance tries to Swift Boat Tim Walz: https://apnews.com/article/walz-national-guard-military-ae43d684bf1319e535f9f620552155d7

Liverpool Sends a Message to Far-Right Rioters - "Not Here": https://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/09/world/europe/liverpool-protests-southport.html

Trump said Harris "happened to turn Black" and he keeps talking about it: https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/31/politics/donald-trump-kamala-harris-black-nabj/index.html

Chinese company accused of stealing thousands of corpses over decades: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/chinese-company-steals-thousands-of-corpses-for-organ-transplants-and-rakes-in-53-million/ar-AA1ovFvK?ocid=BingNewsVerp

MAGA Republican says anyone who didn’t vote for her is a “fa***t” after losing primary: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2024/08/maga-republican-says-anyone-who-didnt-vote-for-her-is-a-fat-after-losing-primary/

Trump threatens to sue the NYT over helicopter story he got wrong: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/10/us/politics/trump-helicopter-crash-willie-brown.html

On this week's episode: Our presidential candidate can touch their toes ... They somehow didn’t have a contingency plan if Brandon let’s goed ... And we find a movie nemesis for Cocaine Bear.

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Headline Sources:

Kamala Harris takes over and the GOP is in a panic: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2024/07/24/us/politics/harris-biden-republican-reactions.html

Newsom Orders California Officials to Remove Homeless Encampments: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/25/us/newsom-homeless-california.html

Harris list of potential VP candidates: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/07/23/kamala-harris-vp-pick/

JD Vance doing badly despite delightful couch rumor: https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/jd-vance-couch-sex-rumor-explained-1235068142/

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/15/us/politics/27-facts-about-jd-vance.html

Gab CEO says Trump shooter had a pro-Biden account: https://nypost.com/2024/07/25/us-news/trump-gunman-thomas-crooks-used-gab-to-support-biden-ceo/

Two words...Cocaine Shark: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/24/science/cocaine-sharks-brazil.html

Also, komodo dragons have iron teeth: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/article/2024/jul/24/komodo-dragons-iron-coated-teeth

And alligators are mustering for an attack: https://www.yahoo.com/news/video-hundreds-gators-swarming-georgia-140000080.html#:~:text=Hundreds%20of%20alligators%20swarmed%20Okefenokee,see%20it%20to%20believe%20it