On this week's episode: The punishment for coming here gets almost as bad as being here ... Even podcasters will be impressed with how long Cory Booker can vamp ... And Heath asks ChatGPT how to fix the country, but he's not allowed to say the answer for legal reasons.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://bsky.app/profile/susiedent.com

Headline Sources:

Trump’s fascist deportations are catching US citizens: https://www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/2025/04/04/judge-orders-trump-administration-bring-back-md-man-mistakenly-deported/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/2025/04/05/us-citizens-deported-immigration/

Nancy Mace got an activist arrested after he shook her hand - charges just got dropped: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/04/nancy-mace-got-an-activist-arrested-after-he-shook-her-hand-charges-just-got-dropped/

Release of Signal chat leads to SO MUCH LYING: 

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/trumps-top-intelligence-officials-claim-no-classified-information-was-rcna197954

https://www.msnbc.com/top-stories/latest/gabbard-ratcliffe-senate-hearing-signal-yemen-texts-rcna198047

NSA Director gets fired by Trump on the advice of Laura Loomer: https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2025/04/03/nsa-director-fired-tim-haugh/

Phone numbers, emails, and passwords of Gabbard, Waltz, and Hegseth found online: https://www.spiegel.de/international/world/pete-hegseth-mike-waltz-tulsi-gabbard-private-data-and-passwords-of-senior-u-s-security-officials-found-online-a-14221f90-e5c2-48e5-bc63-10b705521fb7

Cory Booker delivers record setting “are we really letting this happen?” speech: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/02/nyregion/cory-booker-speech-reactions.html

Eric Adams will skip the Democratic primary and run for reelection as an independent:

https://apnews.com/article/nyc-mayor-eric-adams-independent-1bfd61ad5d266b030996dfe516c77a17

Trump tariff strategy cites economists - they all said he's stupid: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2025/04/04/tariffs-economists-trump-formula/

And he clearly copied his homework from an AI overview: https://www.theverge.com/news/642620/trump-tariffs-formula-ai-chatgpt-gemini-claude-grok

On this week's episode: Federal courts rule on if we can have a deportation catapult ... Trump voters argue that at least he makes the planes crash on time ... And Heath was excited by a headline about the Kennedy assassination but then he realized it's about JFK.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://bsky.app/profile/susiedent.com

Headline Sources:

Judge Appears Skeptical of Trump’s Use of Wartime Law to Deport Venezuelans:

nytimes.com/2025/03/21/us/politics/trump-deportations-alien-enemies-act-block.html

Mahmoud Khalil got abducted by the US government: apnews.com/article/columbia-protests-immigration-detention-mahmoud-khalil-755774045e5e82849e3281e8ff72f26d

Trump tries to dismantle the education department: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/20/us/can-trump-dismantle-education-department.html

Trump pretends Joe Biden’s pardons don’t count: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/22/business/media/autopen-biden-trump-conspiracy-theory.html

Trump has Tesla sales event on White House lawn: washingtonpost.com/business/2025/03/16/elon-musk-tesla-trump-sales-republicans/

DOGE is ridiculously inefficient:  https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2025/03/22/irs-tax-revenue-loss-federal-budget/https

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/lawmakers-fear-doge-cuts-will-drive-away-generation-federal-workers-rcna197085

Were the Kennedy Files a Bust?...Not So Fast, Historians Say: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/20/us/politics/jfk-assassination-files-cia.html

On this week's episode: Al Green is the only guy with those glasses from “They Live” ... The US will raise its ticket prices just when nobody wants to come anymore ... And Hillary Clinton's pizza and ping-pong dungeon remains a secret...for now.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://bsky.app/profile/susiedent.com

Headline Sources:

Trump’s Joint Address to Congress is filled with insane lies: https://www.npr.org/2025/03/04/g-s1-50488/trump-congress-joint-address-fact-check

https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/03/06/trans-mice-claim-false-donald-trump-transgenic/

https://www.whitehouse.gov/articles/2025/03/yes-biden-spent-millions-on-transgender-animal-experiments/

U.S. and Ukrainian Officials to Meet Next Week About Path to End War: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/06/us/politics/ukraine-zelensky-trump-russia.html

Trump plans to offer "gold card" visas for $5 million:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-gold-card-eb5-visa-5-million-immigration-oligarch-cbs-news-explains/

Trump seems to be falling out of love with Musk: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2025/03/06/trump-musk-cabinet-federal-worker-cuts/

https://mashable.com/article/tesla-cybertruck-mardia-gras-new-orleans-boo

https://www.politico.com/live-updates/2025/03/04/congress/gop-town-halls-richard-hudson-00210024

Luigi Mangione pleads with fans to stop sending him so many photos: https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/crime/luigi-mangione-court-update-fan-mail-b2706446.html

Released "Epstein Files" disappoint anticipators; a Republican rickroll didn't help: https://time.com/7262658/epstein-files-released-reactions-disappointment-republicans-rickroll/

https://apnews.com/article/jeffrey-epstein-files-pam-bondi-trump-1a6af3e9fa1cfb6d267985a971a4929a

https://www.nj.com/politics/2025/03/maga-already-calling-on-trump-to-fire-ag-pam-bondi-heres-why.html

On this week's episode: We cover the heilz and lows of CPAC ... The AP will ask us what we heard about Trump’s latest presser ... And in addition to an apanthropist, Heath is also a misanthropist based on REALLY hating 49.8% of the people.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://twitter.com/susie_dent

Headline Sources:

CPAC highlights including Elon Musk waving a chainsaw and Steve Bannon doing a nazi salute: https://apnews.com/article/musk-chainsaw-trump-doge-6568e9e0cfc42ad6cdcfd58a409eb312

https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5156631-elon-musk-cpac-5-takeaways/

https://apnews.com/article/steve-bannon-cpac-nazi-salute-gesture-wave-43a06de6184fe58940c8ae3d743bc6ba

Fox News, CNN, and Other News Outlets Urge White House to Drop Ban on The AP: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/20/business/media/ap-white-house-ban-cnn-fox.html

Trump parrots Russian propaganda about Ukraine: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/20/world/trump-putin-russia-ukraine.html

DOGE fires nuclear safety staff, then has to unfire them after deleting their email accounts: https://www.cnn.com/2025/02/17/climate/trump-nnsa-nuclear-staff-reinstated/index.html

New Kennedy Center President Says Trump Wants to “Make Art Great Again”: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/politics-news/kennedy-center-changes-trump-christmas-show-1236143238/

Chris Kluwe arrested for protesting MAGA library installation: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/former-nfl-punter-chris-kluwe-arrested-anti-trump-protest-city-council-rcna192978

On this week's episode: The first month of Trump's second term is awfully tarrific ... Noah reminds Canada that they’ve got more experience burning down the White House than anybody ... And hot tea is good sometimes...I like chamomile.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://twitter.com/susie_dent

Headline Sources:

Trump tries to tariff and it goes very badly: https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/trump-tariffs-what-concessions-from-mexico-canada-really-mean-rcna190784

https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/usps-resume-accepting-china-shipments-after-initial-pause-rcna190766

Trump claims he ordered ‘obliteration’ of Iran if he’s assassinated in chilling warning: https://nypost.com/2025/02/04/us-news/trump-claims-he-ordered-obliteration-of-iran-if-hes-assassinated/

No, the USAID didn't fund a transgender opera in Colombia: https://www.notus.org/foreign-policy/white-house-keeps-insane-usaid-spending-not-usaid

Three states sue Trump for EO targeting trans care: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2025/02/07/trump-transgender-care-lawsuit/

Waffle House is passing along the sky high cost of eggs to diners with a 50 cent surcharge: https://apnews.com/article/waffle-house-eggs-bird-flu-89025262684f051bdf8f7350dcf1613a

More Super Bowl conspiracies and Trump telling obvious lie about Patrick Mahomes: https://www.bu.edu/articles/2025/super-bowl-logo-conspiracy-theory/

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-tommy-tuberville-patrick-mahomes_n_67a42526e4b064daf3a783c9

On this week's episode: Donald Trump runs the country the way he ran his businesses ... With some economic advice from the Hawk Tuah girl ... And Elon Musk convinced him to send out poop emojis instead of tax returns.

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Headline Sources:

Trump's insane list of executive orders: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/20/us/politics/trump-executive-orders-list.html

Trump's Pardon Palooza: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_granted_executive_clemency_by_Donald_Trump#Trump's_Second-term_use_of_executive_clemency

Trump purges the people who are supposed to make sure he’s not a crook: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2025/01/24/trump-fire-inspectors-general-federal-agencies/

Donald and Melania launch meme coins: 

https://www.vox.com/technology/396352/trumps-coin-crypto-bitcoin-regulation

Lauren Boebert Tries to Evict a ‘Guy’ From Ladies Room in Capitol: https://www.thedailybeast.com/boebert-tries-to-evict-a-guy-from-ladies-room-in-capitol/

Elon Musk is a fake gamer: https://kotaku.com/elon-musk-poe2-diablo-4-paid-boosting-fake-controversy-1851743670

On this week's episode: Trump proposes ruining even MORE countries ... This simulation’s comic relief needs to stop saying “at least social media couldn’t get any worse” ... And we learn how a mysterious new sonic weapon could affect your weekend.

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Headline Sources:

Trump wants to take over Canada, Greenland, and the Panama Canal: https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/08/politics/trump-greenland-canada-panama-analysis/index.html

TikTok ban goes before Supreme Court: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/09/us/politics/tiktok-supreme-court-national-security-free-speech.html

Meta backtracks on fact checking and allows hate speech against trans people: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2025/1/10/meta-facebook-to-drop-fact-checkers-what-does-this-mean-for-social-media

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/meta-new-hate-speech-rules-allow-users-call-lgbtq-people-mentally-ill-rcna186700

Meta scrambles to delete its own AI accounts after backlash intensifies: https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/03/business/meta-ai-accounts-instagram-facebook/index.html

Trump gets deferred sentence, because there is no law if enough stupid people like you: https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2025/01/10/trump-sentencing-hush-money-conviction-merchan/

Biden Officials Say the Truth About Havana Syndrome Is Still Unknown: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/10/us/politics/havana-syndrome-causes.html

On this week's episode: Our nation prepares for a second Trump insertion ... 77 of the smartest people in the world are standing like that disappointed cricket guy meme with their hands on their hips ... And you can smell like steak and ketchup for one easy payment of $199.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://twitter.com/susie_dent

Headline Sources:

FBI Director Chris Wray to resign: https://edition.cnn.com/2024/12/11/politics/fbi-director-chris-wray-steps-down/index.html

Kash Patel set to take over FBI: https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/02/politics/who-is-kash-patel-trump-fbi-director/index.html

Amazon and Meta donate $1M each to Trump's inauguration fund: https://apnews.com/article/trump-meta-zuckerberg-inauguration-donation-c540bf7c638def11b8428e633965c718

John Fetterman joins Truth Social and calls for Trump pardon: https://www.newsweek.com/john-fetterman-truth-social-donald-trump-pardon-1999420

Trump Backtracks On Campaign Pledge To Bring Down Grocery Prices: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-walks-back-prices-down_n_675af8f3e4b04606476ba6cd

Rep. Nancy Mace says she was 'physically accosted' on Capitol grounds: https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/10/politics/nancy-mace-says-she-was-physically-accosted/index.html

More than 75 Nobel laureates urge Senate to reject RFK Jr: https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/5031298-nobel-laureates-oppose-rfk-jr/

Why Google’s Quantum Computer Chip Willow Is A Game Changer: https://www.forbes.com/sites/timbajarin/2024/12/13/why-googles-quantum-computer-chip-willow-is-a-game-changer/

Trump uses photo of himself with First Lady Jill Biden to announce new fragrance line: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-fragrance-jill-biden-fight-fight-fight-perfumes-cologne/

On this week's episode: All joy and hope and thoughts of a better future are sucked out of the universe ... Democrats embrace states rights ... And Donald Trump offers a no-bid contract to Elon Musk and Swamp Fillers LLC.

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Another amazing word of the day from Susie Dent:

https://twitter.com/susie_dent

Headline Sources:

We lost an election: AmericaIsTooStupidToBeAlive.com/YouShouldaVotedForHillaryClintonAndKamalaHarris

What are recess appointments and how could Trump use them to fill his Cabinet: https://apnews.com/article/recess-appointments-trump-cabinet-gop-senate-f484a152e152e8495254d1f83877c71a

Cabinet confirmation process and recess appointments, explained: https://www.cnn.com/2024/11/14/politics/cabinet-confirmation-recess-what-matters/index.html

Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to co-head new “Department of Government Efficiency: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/12/us/politics/elon-musk-vivek-ramaswamy-trump.html

Tracking the cabinet picks and roasting their physical appearances: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/interactive/trump-administration-appointees/

Marco Rubio is a dehydrated cyborg video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19ZxJVnM5Gs

Democratic Governors Form a Group to Oppose the Trump Administration: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/13/us/politics/democratic-governors-trump.html

The Onion wins bid to buy Infowars: https://apnews.com/article/onion-buys-infowars-alex-jones-6496f198d141c991087dcd937b3588e9

https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

On this week's episode: You want us to beg you to vote?...cause we’ll beg! ... Noah offers you a million dollars with the exact same intention of sticking to it as Elon Musk ... And there's a dead-alive cat in a ballot box called American democracy as you hear this.

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Headline Sources:

This is how voting works and you need to do it: YouShouldHaveVotedForHillaryClinton.com/ponies

America prepares for election misinformation bonanza: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/02/us/politics/donald-trump-kalama-harris-campaign.html

In a first since 1938, kids in Des Moines trick-or-treat on Halloween: https://apnews.com/article/beggars-night-des-moines-iowa-halloween-26710c8e3564d461b6868313f7f71425

Tucker Carlson explains that Trump is "Daddy" and America needs a spanking: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/oct/24/tucker-carlson-speech-trump-spanking

Cheese theft in England: https://apnews.com/article/great-cheese-theft-london-cheddar-jamie-oliver-fbaf6d697cd5c7e00de1c95d33837d52

Russia Court fines Google $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cdxvnwkl5kgo