November 06, 2025

120: The Hidden Cost of Faking You're Okay

14 minutes

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We say "I'm fine" because it feels easier than explaining the truth. But what happens when you're not okay—and you keep pretending that you are? In this episode, I’m talking about what it really costs us when we hide our pain, especially around the holidays, and how we can start being more honest about what grief really looks like.

I share my own Thanksgiving story after losing my daughters and the moment I realized I was shortchanging my grief by trying to make everyone else comfortable. If you’re tired of putting on a brave face, this episode will help you feel seen and remind you that it’s okay to stop performing.

We talk about the disconnect between what people see and what you’re actually going through. The exhaustion of keeping it together. The fear of what might happen if you actually tell the truth. And why being honest about where you are is not only okay—but necessary.

What You'll Hear in This Episode:

What pretending to be fine actually costs you
Why people believe you're "doing better"
How grief shows up behind closed doors
The fear of judgment, breakdowns, and being seen as weak
Why it's not your job to make everyone else comfortable
How to start being more honest, even if it feels scary
What happened when I finally shared how I really felt
A gentle invitation to stop performing and let people in

Resources Mentioned:

Join the Always Loved Club: https://navigatingbabyloss.com/club

Struggling to tell where grief ends and guilt begins? This free journal is for you. Five gentle, trauma-informed prompts to help release the "what ifs" and reconnect with your baby through love instead of blame. Work through it at your own pace — no pressure, just comfort. Download now at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal

Download my FREE "Guilt and Grief Release Journal" at navigatingbabyloss.com/journal

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