April 18, 2022

13. Removing the Mask

15 minutes

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When you ask someone how they are doing, what is the standard response that they usually give back to you? “I’m fine.” Right?“

But are they really?

We smile and pretend that everything is good, but on the inside, it’s not.

Some of us don’t have anyone we can talk to, so we keep everything inside while putting that mask back on every time we walk out the door.

I know this from experience. I know as a teen, I was so good at this. I didn’t want to deal with the problems that I had. For those of you who don’t know my story. I grew up in a home where my dad was physically abusive and my parents did drugs right in front of us. My mom would leave for weeks at a time and we weren’t sure if she was coming back or not. So, for me, putting on that mask started at a young age.

I didn’t want to deal with the issue that I felt like nobody loved me.

That nobody liked me.

I didn’t want to deal with the issue that if any of my friends knew the real me that they would leave me, too.

I didn’t want to deal with the issue of thinking that the choices my parents made were my fault.

I didn’t want to deal with the issue that I honestly hated who I was, so I put on a mask.

I pretended to be someone I wasn’t. I pretended that my life was perfect and I had it all together, but on the inside it was eating away at me. I dealt with deep depression, because I couldn’t talk about anything I was walking through. I dealt with feeling numb and not feeling a thing. My smile never reached my eyes…it was all fake. I dealt with major panic attacks.

To learn more about how I took off the mask and what you can do if you struggle with hiding behind a mask, check out this week's episode.

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