Your Internet Boyfriends

#13 The Dishwasher Near-Death Experience


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This week, Mark arrives glowing with five layers of suncream after climbing 111 tube-station steps for the sake of his shorts, while Denis recounts the horror of being fully stuck in a lift. From there, they spiral into the true gauntlet of modern life: helping Irish parents with online banking. Denis spends six and a half hours trying to get his dad to charge an old phone, open an app, ignore the barking dogs and stop pretending to be “changing trains.


We also cover:


  • country undertakers who moonlight as council workers
  • the wild things people say to you at funerals (“we never knew…”)
  • Lisa’s Final Destination fall: the slipper launch, the cartoon leg-flail and Denis diving like an Olympic lifeguard
  • nieces visiting London and questioning why Mark doesn’t own a car
  • lying about the London Eye being “closed” to avoid a £160 queue
  • Tower Bridge, boats, Wicked, and teaching small children they can be witches, engineers or train drivers
  • the gay-uncle effect: do gay men get extra points for being good with kids?
  • Happy-Birthday-Gate: the listener email explaining why restaurants keep ambushing Denis with celebrations
  • Kevin McLeod appreciation, Grand Designs comfort-watching and middle-aged thirst for “design daddies”

  • Weekly queer straight comedy, Irish nostalgia and two men realising their parents should never, ever be allowed near a digital banking app.


    Hit Follow — your Internet Boyfriends are climbing stairs, saving lives and avoiding the London Eye.

    Our beautiful producer and photgrapher www.instagram.com/_declankelly


    Get involved and send us an email [email protected] or send us a DM on Instagram or TikTok.


    Watch our latest episodes every Thursday on YouTube. Tickets and everything else visit www.yourinternetboyfriends.com

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