Leave your homework for a moment kid, there’s a giggling giant strolling through the house kicking down all the doors and a miserable git dumping all the food in your freezer. There’s a policeman knocking on the door, a couple of old soldiers running up and down the stairs, a hurricane in the kitchen and a fashion-conscious flirt burning all your stuff. I’d go and get your parents if i were you, they’re in the cellar playing with your mum’s new turntable. It’s really put a smile on her face.

….second thoughts, DON’T get your parents. Sort it out yourself. But before you do can you please STOP THOSE BLOODY CLOCKS. It’s getting so a malevolent, extra-dimensional force can’t hear itself think.