It's finally time for the Carolingians to snatch that crown from the feeble hands of the last Merovingians. This week we'll see the Franks and the Lombards finally butt heads in an epic showdown, witness a blossoming bromance between Pepin and the Pope, and discuss why Pepin the Short (like Napoleon) was probably not short. 

This is hopefully the last of our sketchy-audio-quality episodes. So look forward to crisp and clear sound next week with Carloman I, whose reign will be an important prelude to that of the Father of Europe himself, Charlemagne.

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

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CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

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