After the unfortunate incident with the boating accident that killed Heir Presumptive William in 1120, King Henry I had a choice to make when it came to succession planning. While he had nephews through his sister and illegitimate children (galore), it was his daughter Matilda, Holy Roman Empress since her arranged marriage at the age of eight, that he tapped to take the throne when he shuffled off his mortal coil. There was a big gathering of nobles to mark the occasion, and in the presence of Henry and Matilda, they all swore fealty to their future lady king, presumably with their fingers crossed behind their backs.

Life went on for everyone for a few years yet. Matilda was re-married to Geoffrey Plantagenet, Count of Anjou, and had a couple of babies, and it was in Anjou that she learned in December of 1135 that her father the king was dead. Long live the lady king!

But not really. Matilda’s cousin Stephen acted with swiftness on the news of his uncle’s death and, despite having sworn fealty to Matilda in the presence of said uncle back in 1127, got himself crowned King of England, with the support of all those nobles who had also sworn fealty to Matilda back in 1127! And this is how the First Cousins’ War – better known as the Anarchy – began!

As you may know, there is no Queen Matilda in England’s royal history, but after a protracted and draining conflict, Stephen agreed to pass the crown to Matilda’s eldest son, Henry Plantagenet, launching a dynasty that would hold the English throne for centuries.

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Today we travel back nearly a millennia to investigate the House of Normandy, the beginning of the line of non-English Kings. William the Conqueror was the first Norman (French) king of England defeating King Harold at the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

What follows is the wild ride of William, his wife Matilda of Flanders and their three sons, Robert, William Rufus and Henry. This is a true battle of brothers, with twists no one saw coming that will have repercussions for the rest of time. Also playing an enormous role in this saga, the wife and queen of Henry I, Matilda of Scotland.

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A few weeks ago, we ranked the royals in the UK system. Today, Alicia takes us into the peerage to talk their top of the heap, Dukes and Duchesses.

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When Queen Elizabeth II was born in 1926, there were years of her childhood that were, compared to other future monarchs, quite normal. After all, she was never supposed to be the Queen. Her father was a second son; her Uncle David would succeed her grandfather, and certainly other male children would come along.

And then, in 1930, Elizabeth’s parents waited with anticipation to find out the gender of Elizabeth’s impending sibling. A boy would be in the line of succession. But the child who arrived was Princess Margaret, who was never supposed to be the daughter and sister of Queens herself, but for the fateful choice her Uncle David would make when Margaret was just six, when everything changed.

This episode follows Margaret through a tumultuous childhood, an early doomed romance, and her long, if ill-fated marriage to Antony Armstrong-Jones, eventually the Earl of Snowden. We visit Mustique, the Caribbean island where Margaret’s only personal land holdings resided, and meet some of the guests she entertained there. Plus, an assortment of stories about the social life of a notoriously difficult Princess – and why hanging with Margaret wasn’t everything it was cracked up to be.

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As she was idly scrolling Bluesky a few days ago, Alicia (@alicianwonderland.bsky.social) came across the ultimate Mad-Lib of a skeet: "roald dahl's grandson is a former london-based journalist who once freelanced for the daily dot and then married princess raiyah of jordan during covid but then got divorced and moved to the US where he became a cop in south carolina and just married an american tiktoker." 

Ask and ye shall receive, as they say, and listeners, believe it or not, it kind of all makes sense.

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Alicia - at the prompting of a listener - started to deep dive into Andrew and Sarah's adult daughters when she learned that an old boyfriend of Sarah's, who has also been an ally and patron over the decades, has died at the age of 88. Paddy McNally and Sarah dated for a few years beginning when she was 20 and he was 42. He also amassed a fortune of $800 million or so, and Royal watchers suspect that he intended to keep on taking care of Sarah Ferguson.

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Sources

The Man Who Made Fergie: What Paddy McNally's Death Tells Us About Sarah Ferguson (theroyalist.substack.com)

Will Fergie, the Royal Family's Great Houdini, Escape Yet Again? (andrewlownie.substack.com)

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While we're ranking the Royals, Alicia thought it was worth taking a moment to appreciate the hardest working of the bunch, the current Princess Royal, Princess Anne. An Olympic-caliber equestrian, Anne has attended more than 20,000 official engagements on behalf of the Crown, and is a patron or honorary president of more than 300 charitable organizations.

But even Anne has opinions when it comes to politicians, in-laws, and even the International Olympic Committee - of which she is a member.  

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Alicia realized that some of our Good Nobles (especially American Good Nobles) may not be fluent in the various ranks of the English aristocracy. So why start at the bottom of the Peerage - the Barons - when you can start at the top of the Royal heap? Today we talk Kings, Queens, Princes, and Princesses, plus how the line of succession works.

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As a follow-up to our episode about Frances Howard and the Thomas Overbury Affair, Stacie introduces us to Frances's parents, Thomas Howard and Katherine Knyvet. The couple was obsessed with real estate, and their constant remodels, renovations, tear-downs, and rebuilds meant they weren't especially concerned about where their money was coming from. Eventually, even the highly distractible King James VI and I couldn't fail to notice.

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Come aboard, friends - today we have a Gilded Age roller coaster! 

Consuelo Vanderbilt wasn't born royal - she wasn't even born in a monarchy! But she did grow up in a sort of dictatorship, with a controlling, overbearing mother who demanded that this American daughter of wealth marry into the British aristocracy, whether Consuelo wanted that or not.

When Consuelo was a teenager, and her mother Alva learned that her daughter had entered into a secret engagement, Alva locked Consuelo in her room and eventually convinced her that Alva would die of a heart attack if she continued to disobey her mother. So it was that Consuelo became the Duchess of Marlborough, an unhappy union that nonetheless made her a social success in Great Britain, as well as a popular champion of the poor and less fortunate.

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