Get out of the cistern and cut your nails, Theophiloi, because it's time for a brand new episode! Join us as we take on the extremely apocryphal book of Ahikar, Tobit's maybe nephew. This leads us to the biggest fight we've ever had on the show, which is about whether the Pharaoh's riddle contest is actually a riddle contest or not (it's not, but the eagle boys are pretty dope).

Topics of discussion: A debate over the premise of the show that sends Chris's voice spiraling up about six octaves, Tu B'av, the Jewish calendar, a bit of self-promotion unrelated to Bible, Aesop who isn't real either, Deuterocanon and pseudepigrapha, the first of what we assume will be many mentions of Grand Admiral Thrawn, a number that constitutes "a lot of wives," all the numbers in the Bible, a pretty vindictive answer to a prayer, Ahikar's dubious teaching methods, drubbing, some low-hanging fruit, God vs. April, a truly bonkers level of animal cruelty, and Chris getting lightheaded from laughing at his own joke. It's a good one.

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