The Recalibration

#152 Too Much? Why Shrinking Hurts and Presence Heals


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Performance pressure and role fatigue often make leaders shrink back. If you fear being “too much,” this episode shows how recalibration restores peace — so your full presence becomes a gift, not a burden.

Have you ever held back an idea in a meeting, softened your words so they wouldn’t sound “too passionate,” or dimmed your presence because you didn’t want to overwhelm others? For many high-capacity humans, the fear of being “too much” quietly shapes their leadership and their life.

In this episode of The Recalibration, Julie Holly unpacks why leaders shrink themselves — and how to break free. Through personal reflection on a lifetime of feeling self-conscious about her energy, and the cultural story of Marc Andreessen, who was criticized as brash and “too much” in the early internet era yet went on to shape Netscape and Andreessen Horowitz, Julie reframes what “too much” really means.

From an Identity-Level Recalibration (ILR) lens, this fear usually comes from outdated roles: the Pleaser, who thinks it’s safer to stay small than risk disapproval; the Peacekeeper, who confuses harmony with suppression; and the Perfectionist, who edits presence until it feels unthreatening. Neuroscience names this pattern social safety bias — the brain exaggerates the risk of rejection, so shrinking feels like safety. But what feels safe in the moment becomes suffocating over time.

Here’s the truth: You are not too much. You are exactly the right size for your assignment. ILR restores this identity, retraining your nervous system to hold presence without apology. Without recalibration, presence feels like performance. With recalibration, presence feels like peace.

This episode is for every leader who feels role fatigue, decision fatigue, or the emptiness of success without fulfillment. It’s not another mindset tactic or productivity hack — it’s the root-level recalibration that makes every other tool effective.

Today’s Micro Recalibration:

  • Where am I shrinking myself?
  • What would it look like to bring my full presence without apology?
  • How might my leadership create permission for others to expand?

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The RecalibrationBy Julie Holly

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