So many women know what it feels like to live for other people’s approval. Whether it’s in our marriages, motherhood, friendships, or even our faith communities. We project the “perfect” version of ourselves: kind, put-together, selfless, always smiling… but most of us are just freaking exhausted.

In today’s episode, I sit down with Dr. Merry Lin, clinical psychologist, speaker, and author of The Fully Lived Life and The Great Unbecoming. Dr. Lin shares her personal story of growing up as the only Asian family in her community, and how she tried to become the “whitest, kindest, most Christian” version of herself just to be accepted. She opens up about what it means to live out of our shadow self—the insecure, performative part of us that craves belonging—and how that can keep us stuck in unhealthy cycles of performance and people-pleasing.

Together, we also wrestle with a powerful tension many women feel: believing that living in their flesh is living in their essential, selfish self, and therefore sinful. But our essential self is not selfish. The Bible says we are created in the image of God, and the word for “image” means essence. That means who we really are—our true, God-breathed self—is a reflection of His glory. Every woman reflects a different aspect of that glory.

In today's episode, we talk about:

• Why so many women feel like they must project a polished version of themselves (and how it’s draining their souls).

• The difference between living out of the shadow self vs. the essential, God-breathed self.

• How compassion and grace for ourselves unlocks healing.

• Why unbecoming the false self is actually the only way to truly become who God made us to be.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your life instead of actually living it, this conversation will remind you that freedom begins with unbecoming who you thought you had to be and resting in the truth of who God already says you are. Follow along with Lindsey on IG: @livingeasywithlindsey Follow along with Dr. Merry Lin on IG: @drmerrylin Order REBECOMING today!