The harsh blue (grey) hue of the Brisbane sky, blazing sun, golden sponsors and Cameron Green’s size means we’ve finally arrived at The Ashes. Pez and Higgos reject a cold, clinical look at form and instead go big on things like feeling, vibe, narrative, stereotype and jingoism – for the optimal way to enjoy the Ashes is to couch it in colonial, cultural terms, rather than anything vaguely objective or fact-based.

 

As a result, we conclude Australia will cruise: despite not having won a Test series for a very long time, leadership in general tumult, and Smith changing his grip. The Visceral Minute returns and reflect this general approach to things “on both sides”, to invoke D Trump (who played 3s for Manhattan). We speak with Ollie Pope – who played Sydney Test Cricket with some distinction – and afterwards decide that we want him to play, because we are now known to him and want to lamely attach ourselves to his success like the weak little cucks we are.

 

Mt Foxmore’s Shane Warne sledges Mitch Starc again, Langer visits Paine, and Cummins is an astronaut. Meanwhile Ajaz Patel takes 10fer and we ask: what grade would he play here? The Sixers also beat a team with Zampa, Maxwell “and some clubbies”, because if you lose a BBL fixture it follows that you are carrying clubbies.

 

We pay tribute to Rob Aitken for his feat of 500 first grade games, a first-class player if there ever was one.

 

We include a special chat with CEO of Budgy Smugger, Adam Linforth, on building a proud Australian company and tubbing with the NSW Cricket Team.

 

#AskTGC is an overwritten lecture from the pulpit about the harsh realities of life as a millionaire sportsperson. We agree with the general premise.

 

Check out our Patreon for exclusive content every single week at https://www.patreon.com/gradecricketer including #AskTGC Fridays and the exclusive audio from all of our YouTube videos - specifically our daily reactions to every day's play during The Ashes.

 

This episode is brought to you by Budgy Smuggler. You can get free shipping on your order by using the code 'CHAMP' at https://www.budgysmuggler.com.au

 

T20 Stars products are made from one of the best cricket manufacturers in the world and they have cut out the middle person so the cricket gear goes straight from the manufacturer to you. Use the code TGC10 for 10% off bats, balls, gloves and pads. Free shipping and free returns - visit www.t20stars.com

 

You can follow The Grade Cricketer on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter:

 

https://www.facebook.com/gradecricketer

 

https://www.instagram.com/thegradecricketer/

 

https://twitter.com/gradecricketer

 

The Grade Cricketer hosts are Ian Higgins and Sam Perry.

 

You can follow them on Instagram and Twitter:

 

Ian Higgins:

https://www.instagram.com/higgins_ian/

https://twitter.com/1an_Higgins

 

Sam Perry:

https://www.instagram.com/sj_perry/

https://twitter.com/sjjperry

EXTRA HOUR of AskTGC EVERY WEEK: https://patreon.com/gradecricketer

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.