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Leadership revelations can strike like lightning after years in darkness. This episode shares the powerful moment when a mid-level manager finally realized his fundamental leadership mistake: "I pulled my people along instead of leading them. I did what was easy for me instead of what was best for my team." This breakthrough illustrates why relationship-building forms the essential foundation of effective leadership.

As we continue our journey through the CHART framework, we explore the "R" for Relationships – examining why authentic connections have become increasingly difficult in our digital world. The statistics are sobering: 69% of relationships formed on social media ultimately fail, with marriages from such connections having a 28% higher divorce rate in the first year compared to in-person meetings. For leaders, this highlights a critical truth: meaningful leadership requires face-to-face connection in an era where we're increasingly disconnected.

We introduce a thought-provoking concept: "cheerleadership" – the tendency of modern organizations to reduce leadership to mere motivation and encouragement. While team members often request this constant cheerleading, true leadership requires deeper relationship-building focused on growth, accountability, and mutual respect. The episode outlines five essential strategies for creating these relationships: communication through active listening, building trust through reliability and vulnerability, showing empathy by seeing others' perspectives, demonstrating genuine interest with open-ended questions, and embracing authenticity.

Perhaps most powerfully, we discuss how life outside work (5pm-9am) impacts performance during work hours just as much as anything happening on the job. Leaders who acknowledge this reality with compassion build stronger teams. Are you journaling about missed opportunities to connect with your team members? This simple practice might transform your leadership effectiveness more than you realize.

Subscribe to First Lead You and join us on this journey of leadership transformation. Remember, to lead your team well, you must first lead yourself.

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Genuine appreciation from leaders creates confidence, boosts morale, and improves team performance in organizations. Leaders who demonstrate care through their actions and decisions build stronger, more loyal teams who feel valued and perform at higher levels.

Here are some key questions your can ask yourself as a leader to measure your level of appreciation for your team:

• As a leader, do you care whether your team members can pay their mortgage or rent payment? 
• As a leader, do you care that the decisions you make affect the team's confidence in the company and you as a leader?
• Do you care, as a leader, that you leading well means that they can feel confident in going home and leading their family well, because they're not worrying about what's going on at work or what may happen at work? 
• As a leader, do you care that the decisions you make can impact the trajectory of the company from a long-term perspective? 
• And finally....... as a leader, do you care if there's a succession plan in place that protects the team that helped you build the company, whether you own it or you're just a leader? 

• Zig Ziglar's insight: "Your attitude (EQ), not your aptitude (IQ), determines your altitude" in leadership
• Appreciative leadership requires genuine care about team members' wellbeing and future
• Walking through the parking lot to observe baby seats and vehicle maintenance issues provides perspective on team members' lives
• Self-reflection questions about whether you care if team members can pay their mortgage or lead their families well
• Consumer confidence has declined as team members worry about private equity takeovers and job security
• Ten practical ways to show appreciation include personal thanks, handwritten notes, and celebrating successes
• Balance critique with appreciation to maintain standards while showing gratitude
• Anticipation strengthens memories - leaders should anticipate opportunities to show appreciation
• The four A's (Awareness, Adaptability, Approachable, Appreciation) are essential for effective leadership

To lead your team well, you must 1st Lead U.

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Is your leadership style creating barriers rather than bridges? In this compelling episode of 1st Lead U, we unpack the critical yet often overlooked leadership trait of approachability. 

Through a revealing exploration of workforce dynamics, we discover that while only 6.2% of America's 170 million workers hold leadership positions, the impact of their approachability (or lack thereof) ripples throughout entire organizations. When leaders are open, caring, and actively listening, teams flourish. When they're sarcastic, critical, or temperamental, organizational culture deteriorates one interaction at a time.

The leadership challenge lies in what we call "gear shifting" – a leader's ability to mentally transition between countless responsibilities while remaining fully present for team members who approach with concerns. This isn't merely a soft skill but a strategic imperative that directly impacts company performance.

We discuss our powerful L.E.A.D. framework (Leaders, Educated to Lead, Agreeable Followers, Disgruntled Employees) to help you understand how leadership approachability shapes workforce dynamics. Even the most carefully selected teams will have 10-20% of challenging employees, and how you approach these individuals is just as important as how you lead your top performers.

Leaders who become unapproachable begin a dangerous cycle: isolation, surrounding themselves with yes-people, and losing touch with critical feedback. The antidote? Developing self-awareness and adaptability first – the foundation for genuine approachability.

Ready to transform how your team sees and reaches you? Join us as we reveal practical strategies for becoming the approachable leader your organization needs. Because as we always say: to lead your team well, you must 1st Lead U.

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Understanding adaptability and  the brain's role in leadership provides critical insights for developing more flexible and responsive leadership approaches. Leadership effectiveness requires cognitive and emotional flexibility that stems from proper neural functioning.

• The four lobes of the brain (frontal, parietal, temporal, occipital) work together to process complex leadership scenarios
• Adaptability is defined as being "able to adjust to new conditions" and "able to be modified for a new use or purpose"
• Change is constant in today's fast-paced business environment, happening at unprecedented speeds
• Cognitive flexibility allows leaders to shift thinking, consider multiple perspectives, and adapt strategies quickly
• Emotional flexibility enables leaders to understand their emotions and empathize with team members during change
• Neuroplasticity - the brain's ability to reorganize itself - is essential for developing leadership adaptability
• Key brain structures like the thalamus, hippocampus and amygdala are critical for adaptable thinking
• Personality types (especially those with I or J in Myers-Briggs) may naturally resist change more than others
• Leaders can improve adaptability by cultivating a growth mindset and practicing rapid decision-making
• Finding trusted people who can challenge your thinking helps develop greater cognitive and emotional flexibility

To become more adaptable, cultivate a growth mindset, embrace change as inevitable, and practice problem-solving. Seek feedback, learn new skills, develop resilience through self-reflection, and be open to new experiences. Remember, in order to lead your team well, you must first lead you.

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Awareness forms the foundation for effective leadership, with self-awareness being the most difficult yet crucial leadership skill to master. 

• Emotional intelligence assessments reveal most leaders score in the 60s (D range) for self-awareness when they should be in the high 80s to 90s
• Only 10-15% of leaders truly possess good self-awareness according to psychology research
• Unaware leaders often display "imposter traits": being boisterous, heavy-handed, mouthy, and conceited
• Teams can immediately sense when a leader lacks awareness, with productivity suffering as a result
• Being aware means understanding your internal state, emotional triggers, and how you impact those around you
• Physical reactions like blotches or hives are signals your body gives during difficult situations
• Three practical steps to improve awareness: consistent journaling, physically stepping back in challenging moments, and asking team members for honest feedback
• Self-awareness enables leaders to know which leadership style (coach, commander, counselor) is needed in different situations
• Awareness creates the foundation for being adaptable, approachable, and appreciative as a leader

To become a better leader, you must learn to first lead yourself through developing genuine self-awareness.

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Building mental capacity as a leader requires understanding how our brains process information and identifying the challenges that fragment our thinking and slow down our decision-making processes. 

• Our brains are like computers that can become fragmented with information, causing slower processing and reactions 
• Leadership feels like dodging bullets in The Matrix – constant challenges come at you while you must maintain composure
• Days can "blow up" with unexpected issues, yet leaders must continue functioning without showing vulnerability
• The speed of information in today's world has conditioned our brains to expect immediate results
• Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of your character, feelings, motives, and desires
• Healing leadership wounds requires recognizing areas where you're damaged and working through them
• Journaling your "pauses" – moments when you're uncertain or your blood pressure rises – reveals patterns
• Common leadership blockers include fear of making unpopular decisions, constant apologizing, and viewing criticism as attacks
• Finding a mentor who can help guide you through leadership challenges is essential for growth
• You are not an accident – finding your purpose should be a lifelong mission

Visit our website at firstleadu.com for more leadership resources and to download the full list of the top 10 things that negatively impact leadership.

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Leadership is about recognizing when decisions need to be made and taking action, not necessarily being the smartest person in the room or having all the answers. Dr. Tyler Rogers, a therapist at Scout Counseling, shares insights on leadership development, mental health, and building self-confidence.

• America's current mental state can be described as "anxious"
• Our digital world makes us process distant events as if they were happening right next to us
• Modern families lack clear leadership structures compared to previous generations
• Children today have fewer responsibilities, resulting in decreased self-confidence
• Teaching children basic responsibilities builds confidence and competence
• Leaders must understand themselves before they can effectively lead others
• When facing poor leadership, identify specific problems and ask clarifying questions
• Improving mental health requires unplugging, setting boundaries, and connecting with real people
• Compartmentalizing helps leaders manage emotional responses throughout the day
• Self-confidence comes from understanding your capabilities and believing in yourself

Visit Scout Counseling at scoutcounseling.com to learn more about their services or to get help finding resources in your area.

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Text us. Share your thoughts. Ask Questions. We would love to hear from you.