In tough times it's good to have an entrepreneurial spirit to help kick start the economy once again. The key to success is to find that one unique idea that has a good chance of success. Sponsoring drug dealers near high schools or using condom companies to sponsor school sports teams may not be examples of winning formulas.

There's nothing like a lazy Sunday afternoon watching football, throwing back a few beers and maybe winning a few dollars in the football pool with your friends. That was until we found Friday night football courtesy of the Lingerie Football League. Make sure you take your heart medication before you tune in.

Before you go camping, it's a good idea to make a list of the things you'll need. First, make sure you drive your Porsche to the camp ground. Don't forget the beer cups that you can write your name on, the portable Uno game, the travel stripper pole and a couple of Lesbians to take pictures of your camp site when the bear comes to visit.

You know you're an old married Lesbian when to have "fun" you head to the nearest Sears and fantasize about buying new appliances for your home. It might be time to break up and start dating someone 20 years younger who wants to party all night and have sex all day. One thing is for sure...she'll be more expensive than the shopping trip to Sears.

Sitting through an entire wedding can be a long, drawn out and painful experience...even if it's your best friend getting married. To help make the time go by quicker, why not give yourself a sense of purpose and come prepared with a special mission of your own. Chat up every hot girl at the wedding reception and try to find single lady to hook up with your neurologist.

This Fall, Lesbians all over the world will be making a striking fashion statement as they dig deep into their closets to pull out those old fanny packs we all used to wear back in the 80's. Now you can be both fashionable and sensible as you discretely carry all those Lesbian necessities - your wallet, your hairbrush, your lip balm and your car keys. Don't forget to tuck in a few cherry dental dams for good measure.

The LA County Fair is not any different from a country fair you'd find anywhere in the U.S. We have animals, carnival rides, cotton candy, silly games and crappy fried food. We also have half naked women walking around in tank tops that are too small for them and daisy dukes that go half way up their asses. The only difference is that in LA you might have to question whether their boobs are real or plastic.

In this economy it's important to make sure you come to a job interview with your "A" game. You might only get one shot at landing that important job, so make sure you're ready. A few tips to keep in mind - take a shower before you go, don't show up in your sweatpants, wear some deodorant, and tits out is optional...although not always recommended.

If you don't kiss someone that is standing under mistletoe, it means you will have bad luck for the rest of your life. Whether you believe that superstition or not, it's probably worth taking a chance by walking away if an ugly Lesbian with halitosis is standing under that mistletoe. Having bad luck for the rest of your life just has to be a better outcome.

It's never easy to ask for help when you're not able to take care of yourself as well as you used to, but if that time ever comes, you may as well do it in the best possible style you can think of. Get the wheelchair with the spinning hubcaps and gold plated rims. Deck it out with Italian leather seats with temperature controlled seat warmers. And, make sure it has a cup holder on the side to hold your diamond encrusted Pimp Cup.