Rachel Clarke is a palliative care doctor, writer and campaigner. Here she describes her experiences of a National Health Service (and social care system) in crisis, the low morale of staff and the suffering of patients. She criticises what she sees as years of Tory underinvestment in the NHS and accuses the government of ignoring the realities of her and her colleagues. Dr Clarke talks powerfully about the challenges she and many others faced during the height of the Covid pandemic, and reflects on the use of lockdowns. She also speaks movingly of what it's like to care for and treat people nearing the end of their life, extols the power of music, and explains why she doesn't fear her own death.