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Bronwen Smith, a mom who adopted from Korea, shares the real-life struggles and joys of adopting internationally. Learn how she and her husband decided to adopt,  how they chose the country to adopt from, what it was like to take off in the plane with the knowledge that their son was leaving his entire home behind, and how they juggle joy and peace on a daily basis.

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Not only must adoptive and foster moms understand the depth of their child’s pre-adoption pain, but also their own trauma wound. “What wound?” they may say. “My child is the one with the deep wound, not me. Don’t be ridiculous.” 

Adoptive moms may be offended or defensive when told they have a trauma wound. Adoptive mom says—I think many people can experience defensiveness or protectiveness about our woundedness. To be comfortable disclosing ourselves authentically requires safety. Safe people are hard to find. Additionally, we may be conscious of the adoption “label” that can be put on our kids, in that adoption can sometimes erroneously be viewed as the root of the problem, when in reality, it may be something far different. Disclosing our wound requires some level of risk and discernment before taking that risk. Otherwise, there is a chance of being hurt more by insensitive comments, judgment, and/or blame. It’s not easy to navigate the path of transparency, especially if you’re already limping along. Who needs to have their good leg shot out from underneath?” 

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Sometimes, adopted kids see their adoptive moms as an enemy. Does that mean there's something wrong with them? Bad genes? Bad character? A million times, no! Adoptees have been deeply wounded, first through the loss of their first mothers, and second, by being placed into the arms of strangers. Learn four reasons adoptees see their moms like this and what moms can do to gain hope and endurance. 

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This podcast reveals how adoption's parent/child relationships oftentimes become strained and explains that the strain is not the fault of parent nor child.   Five adoptive moms give real-life examples of strain. Sherrie Eldridge reveals the greatest gift parents can give their kids in every situation--the gift of a non-abandoning heart. The pre-requisite to a non-abandoning heart is "risky love"--choosing to remain in the meltdown with the child, trace current-day strain to perceived abandonment, and speak to the past as well as the present.  With her seasoned adoptee voice, Sherrie urges fellow adoptees to forgive themselves. Why? Their brains were damaged in the midst of trauma, but still have great hope of recovery.

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Relationships between adoptive moms and their kids will involve more stress than bio kids and parents. If an adoptive mother isn't educated about this reality, she may conclude that her parenting is inferior--"I thought it was me and my inability to nurture and support them properly." Sherrie Eldridge proposes a bootcamp within her new book that would prepare parents well. As a result, they won't enter the battlefields without being seasoned warriors. The first step is to learn what a "non-intentional" relationship is and how the four aspects of it affect both mother and child.

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There are many adoptive parents whose adopted children can't receive their love. If we liken it to a dance, the adopted child may delight in stepping on the parent's toes. Sherrie Eldridge explains why this happens from an adoptee perspective, as well as sharing adoptive parent thoughts about the rejection they experience. Hopefully, parents will come away with new ideas about how to dance effectively with their adopted children.

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Podcast #2

Many adoptees and foster children haven't been told that it's possible to find freedom from their painful past. Sherrie reviews the literature that's been available, especially that of Nancy Verrier's THE PRIMAL WOUND. The case is made that in physical healing, validation of the wound is just the beginning. Most adoptees want more--more growth, more steps to take toward freedom, and more self-worth. Sherrie shares her story of how this reality transpired in her life.

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Sherrie Eldridge introduces herself as a veteran adoptee and adoption author, but enthusiastically invites adoptive, birth, foster, step parents and her fellow adoptees to join her in discovering wonderful new research and experience in the world of adoption:

1. The child's brain records parental acts of love even though child's level of receptivity is low.
2. Parents can be assured through brain research that their acts of love won't be forgotten.
3. Adoptees can be free from their painful past and parents can be free from their painful self (I will never be able to meet the needs of my child).

Sherrie shares future content:
1. Chapters from her upcoming book
2. Trauma experts will share insights from research
3. Ideas about getting older

The closing thought is a promise from the Bible that God will carry you in your old age. Sherrie then shares her story about lessons she learned about age from the foxglove plant.

Sign up: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1758160/8810553

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