June 30, 2025

#207 | The Unintended Consequences of Ambition: Finding Peace In 'Doing Enough'

12 minutes

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Ever felt like no matter how much you accomplish, it's never enough? You're not alone. Ambition—that driving force behind achievement—can sometimes lead us into what I call "the unintentional abyss of ambition," where periods of stillness or rest become sources of self-criticism rather than rejuvenation.

In this deeply personal episode, I share my own recent struggles with feeling insufficient despite evidence to the contrary. Drawing on Dr. Ben Hardy's powerful concept of "the gap and the gain," we explore why high performers often measure themselves against idealized standards (the gap) rather than acknowledging how far they've come (the gain). Through real examples—from marathon runners fixating on qualifying times rather than celebrating personal records, to my own tendency to overlook the transformative impact of my work because I haven't reached arbitrary numeric goals—we unpack this common mindset trap.

The most powerful moment comes from a community member who lost 30 pounds and completely transformed his relationship with discipline. His journey from believing change was impossible to creating sustainable healthy habits for himself and his family perfectly illustrates the power of living in "the gain." I also recommend Byron Katie's book "Loving What Is: The Work" as a resource for questioning the stories we tell ourselves and optimizing our way of being rather than just our external achievements.

Whether you're building a business, pursuing fitness goals, or working on personal growth, this episode will help you recognize when you're falling into the gap and give you practical tools to shift your perspective. Remember, you are special and amazing—don't let ambition blind you to that truth. Subscribe, share with someone who needs this message, and join my Unshakable Discipline community if you're ready to build sustainable discipline in all areas of your life.

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