Play parties can be exhilarating, intimidating, sexy, awkward, joyful — and sometimes all of those at once. In this episode of Hide and Seek, the team break down what play parties rules actually are, why they exist, and how to show up in ways that keep everyone safer, respected, and having a good time.

We start with the bigger picture: play parties as cultural spaces — not just places to hook up, but environments built around consent, chosen family, learning, ritual, and queer and kink community. From lounge-room rope nights to commercial dungeons, pup mosh pits to quiet, atmospheric events, we explore the different types of play parties and how expectations shift depending on the space you’re in.

Then we get into the practical stuff — the universal do’s and don’ts. How to ask before touching anything (including gear). How to express interest without being creepy. When watching is okay, when it’s not, and why interrupting a scene is a fast track to getting escorted out. There are stories, cautionary tales, and reminders that “no” and “not right now” are complete sentences.

The second half of the episode focuses on safety and aftercare — not just physical care, but emotional reality. We talk about drop, nerves, first-time jitters, mess, tears, and why kindness and discretion matter just as much as floggers and tarps. Whether you’re new, curious, or a seasoned attendee, this episode is about navigating play spaces with confidence, care, and consent.

Because great etiquette isn’t complicated — it’s asking, listening, and remembering that play parties are about trust, not entitlement.

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This episode was recorded on the lands of the Yalukut Weelam clan of the Boon Wurrung peoples. We pay our respects to their elders, past, present and emerging, and acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded.

Find other JOY podcasts at joy.org.au