What happens when you move from a sexually conservative culture into one of the world’s most visible kink scenes — and realise you’re suddenly “allowed” to explore? In this deeply thoughtful episode, Hide and Seek welcomes Joenas to talk about kink discovery after migration, with a particular focus on CALD experiences. What is it like to explore, in colour?

The conversation traces how shame-based sex education, silence, and religious taboo shape early understanding of sex — and how overwhelming it can feel to arrive in a place where kink is visible, named, and socially organised. We talk about the “kink big bang”: the flood of gear, language, expectations, and assumptions that can make newcomers feel behind, exposed, or pressured to perform.

Importantly, the episode challenges stereotypes — from assumptions about submissiveness to fetishisation of cultural background — and offers clear guidance for non-CALD kinksters on how to be respectful allies. Slowing down, asking instead of assuming, and separating curiosity from entitlement are recurring themes.

This is also a story of growth: finding safety in gear, learning through observation, revisiting consent, and discovering that uncertainty is allowed. The takeaway is powerful and generous — kink exploration is richer when we make space for cultural difference, patience, and trust. It’s not just about what you do with your body, but what you’re finally free to feel.

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This episode was recorded on the lands of the Yalukut Weelam clan of the Boon Wurrung peoples. We pay our respects to their elders, past, present and emerging, and acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded.

Find other JOY podcasts at joy.org.au