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219 - Heartbreak on the Setlist (Q from Anonymous)
You’re a professional.
It’s just four minutes.
So why does this song feel like a punch in the chest?
In Episode 219 – A Drummer’s Guide To… Heartbreak on the Setlist (Q from Anonymous), I answer a listener’s question about performing a song that’s deeply tied to a painful past relationship.
Should you just “be professional” and play it?
Or are you allowed to have boundaries in a band?
We explore:
🥁 The difference between suppression and emotional regulation
🥁 When pushing through builds resilience — and when it’s just self-punishment
🥁 How music hardwires itself to memory
🥁 Whether raising it with your band is weakness… or maturity
🥁 How to reclaim a song that hurts (if you choose to)
This isn’t just about one sad tune.
It’s about emotional labour in performance — and what professionalism actually means.
If you’ve ever had to show up on stage while something personal was going on… this one’s for you.
💬 Want your question answered on a future episode?
Submit it here: EmilyDrums.com/ama
🎯 Want a free 30-minute coaching taster session?
Head to: EmilyDrums.com
View all episodes
By adrummersguideto
5
44 ratings
You’re a professional.
It’s just four minutes.
So why does this song feel like a punch in the chest?
In Episode 219 – A Drummer’s Guide To… Heartbreak on the Setlist (Q from Anonymous), I answer a listener’s question about performing a song that’s deeply tied to a painful past relationship.
Should you just “be professional” and play it?
Or are you allowed to have boundaries in a band?
We explore:
🥁 The difference between suppression and emotional regulation
🥁 When pushing through builds resilience — and when it’s just self-punishment
🥁 How music hardwires itself to memory
🥁 Whether raising it with your band is weakness… or maturity
🥁 How to reclaim a song that hurts (if you choose to)
This isn’t just about one sad tune.
It’s about emotional labour in performance — and what professionalism actually means.
If you’ve ever had to show up on stage while something personal was going on… this one’s for you.
💬 Want your question answered on a future episode?
Submit it here: EmilyDrums.com/ama
🎯 Want a free 30-minute coaching taster session?
Head to: EmilyDrums.com
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