This American Life

245: Allure of the Mean Friend


Listen Later

What is it about them, our mean friends? They treat us poorly, they don't call us back, they cancel plans at the last minute, and yet we keep coming back for more. Popular bullies exist in business, politics — everywhere. How do they stay so popular?

Visit thisamericanlife.org/lifepartners to sign up for our premium subscription.

  • Prologue: We hear kids recorded at Chicago's Navy Pier and at a public swimming pool discussing their mean friends. And Ira Glass interviews Lillie Allison, 15, about the pretty, popular girls who were her best friends—until they cast her out. (5 minutes)
  • Act One: Jonathan Goldstein interrogates the girls, now grown up, who terrorized him and his classmates years ago in school—and finds they can be just as scary as ever. (18 minutes)
  • Act Two: We conduct an experiment to test whether being nice actually pays by equipping two waitresses with hidden microphones to record their interactions. Each waitress is instructed to be super friendly with half of their tables while remaining aloof with the other half. We then compare the tips to see which approach was more profitable. (10 minutes)
  • Act Three: A case study in every word from a friend meaning its opposite. (4 minutes)
  • Act Four: An excerpt of Bernard Cooper's story about the bill he got from his own father, for the entire cost of his childhood. Actor Josh Hamilton reads. (19 minutes)

Transcripts are available at thisamericanlife.org

This American Life privacy policy.
Learn more about sponsor message choices.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

This American LifeBy This American Life

  • 4.6
  • 4.6
  • 4.6
  • 4.6
  • 4.6

4.6

85,784 ratings


More shows like This American Life

View all
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! by NPR

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

38,669 Listeners

Radiolab by WNYC Studios

Radiolab

44,030 Listeners

Fresh Air by NPR

Fresh Air

37,923 Listeners

The Moth by The Moth

The Moth

27,229 Listeners

Snap Judgment by Snap Judgment and PRX

Snap Judgment

11,576 Listeners

Freakonomics Radio by Freakonomics Radio + Stitcher

Freakonomics Radio

32,096 Listeners

99% Invisible by Roman Mars

99% Invisible

26,227 Listeners

Invisibilia by NPR

Invisibilia

21,648 Listeners

Hidden Brain by Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

Hidden Brain

43,777 Listeners

Heavyweight by Pushkin Industries

Heavyweight

16,910 Listeners

The Daily by The New York Times

The Daily

111,052 Listeners

Throughline by NPR

Throughline

16,092 Listeners

The Ezra Klein Show by New York Times Opinion

The Ezra Klein Show

15,494 Listeners

The Retrievals by Serial Productions & The New York Times

The Retrievals

10,720 Listeners

The Good Whale by Serial Productions and the New York Times

The Good Whale

1,080 Listeners