Good news, friends and neighbors: It's Christmas now! Put your shoes out and brew a pot of coffee because we're going through the lives of the most popular saint ever, Jolly Old St. Nicholas, aka Santa Claus. Oh, and also St. Lucy, whose life unfortunately had a not insignificant amount of eye-gouging. Plus: Find out which of us is the Paul of Santa and our unsurprising pick for the Worst Christmas Character!

Topics of discussion: Shine vs. Glow, St. Martin's White Horse vs. America, Donkey vs. Horse, St. Nicholas Day vs. Christmas vs. Epiphany, Julian vs. Gregorian, Chris vs. "The Elf", Benito vs. Dominic the Donkey, Grandpa vs. Grandma, Benito vs. Santa Claus, Christkindl vs. the Arrow of Time, Chris and Matt Wilson vs. Kirk Cameron, St. Nicholas vs. Artemis, Curt Connors (the Lizard) vs. his son Billy, St. Agatha vs. Medieval Artists.

Hymnal: "Hooray For Santa Claus" by Milton Delugg

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!