The Australian Men selfishly retain their spots for The Gabba, thus denying us the trappings we seek. But have you seen the ODI Squad? Fraser-McGurk is not only in - but around - the boys, as is Xavier Bartlett. May not play, but at the very least it’s a kit, rhythms, contours thing. Bareback will get a roll in gold, so we’ll be strong on eye hygiene. 

Elsewhere, the BBL reaches its denouement. Usual suspects have come and gone at the famous Gold Coast cauldron, where fringe players fail interspersed with shots of the Suns’ Matt Rowell. Lloyd Pope humiliated blokes with wrong’uns, which was good. In fact, the BBL has been good. The BBL is growing. We may be minority-voiced commentariat cucks, but can the teams not get worse as the season goes on? Maybe…not?

This week India and England commence a 5 Test series. It is a battle of extremity and delectable for the neutral. How does Bazball fare against expert spin on raggers? England could become the greatest ever team to play the code, or the greatest embarrassment known to man. There’s no in-between. Will be fun.

AskTGC concerns a second trimester pregnancy, buckets on bonces, and whether or not to let the darkness in.

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