In this episode, Karen Kirton answers a question many leaders face: What do you do when a team member just doesn’t seem like themselves anymore? They might be disengaged, irritable, or withdrawn—and as a manager, it’s not always clear whether to raise it, how to approach it, or what to do if they shut you down.

Karen explores how to recognise behavioural changes, initiate the right kind of conversations, and manage this situation with empathy, clarity, and responsibility.

In today’s episode, you will learn:

• Why it’s important not to ignore changes in behaviour – Using the iceberg metaphor, Karen explains how most of what’s going on for people is beneath the surface and why it’s worth checking in even when someone says they’re “fine.”
• How to start the conversation – Learn Karen’s go-to language for raising concern in a safe and supportive way, without making it a performance issue.
• What to do when they say “I’m fine” but the behaviour continues – Why revisiting the issue a few weeks later might be the moment they’re ready to talk.
• Understanding emotional bandwidth at work – How employees often suppress personal stress at work, and why your concern may either trigger tears or defensiveness—and how to handle both with care.
• Your responsibility as a manager – When ongoing issues could indicate more serious problems like bullying or harassment, and why addressing it isn’t just helpful—it’s a duty of care.
• The power of curiosity and positive intent – Karen shares how a mindset of genuine care and openness can lead to trust and better workplace communication.

Karen's takeaway:
There’s no downside to checking in. You might uncover a small fixable issue—or support someone through something bigger. Just don’t keep asking the same question over and over if they shut it down. Come back once, with empathy and clarity, and create space for the conversation to open up.

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