Hello, humans! A new Star Trek series has appeared and in this episode we review the one hour premiere of “Star Trek: Discovery.” We discuss the comportment of bridge officers, the “Star Trek: Shenzhou” prequel series we never saw, the appearance of the Star Trek Sound Effects pack, why Vulcans are kind of jerks, and the validity of using small caps in your caption font. And much, much more! (Note: This episode only contains spoilers for the very first hour of “Star Trek: Discovery.” In fact, we made a point of recording it immediately after viewing. In our next episode we’ll discuss the second hour.)