There's no such thing as black and white, says the clever Scottish salesman. We're all just doing our best on the gray scale. Should you find yourself surfing that scale, serving customers at a fancy restaurant, here are some tips on how to make them order the special -- and convince them they enjoyed it. We hope YOU enjoy this seven course debate between two differing political views, served rare, with no anger, snobbery, or hard feelings of any kind. Appetizer supplied by our new sponsor, One Small Voices, on the censorship rages involving Hume, Dahl, James Bond and Sherlock Holmes. And for dessert: an intervention by Martin McDonagh.

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