Ever feel like you're "in trouble" with your partner—even though you're a grown adult? That tight feeling in your chest, the urge to defend yourself, shut down, or appease… it's more common than you think. And it's not your fault.

In this episode, we explore how growing up in a punitive culture wires us to associate conflict with danger—and how that fear shows up in our adult relationships. Using the lenses of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Terry Real's Adaptive Child vs. Wise Adult, and self-compassion, we look at how to shift from self-protection to connection, even when emotions run high.

You'll learn:

• Why the "I'm in trouble" feeling gets triggered in conflict

• How to recognize when your Adaptive Child is in the driver's seat

• Ways to offer yourself empathy so you can show up in your relationship from your Wise Adult self

• Practical NVC tools to respond with connection instead of self-protection

Whether you're in a partnership or want to prepare for one, this episode is an invitation to soften, slow down, and connect—with yourself and your loved ones.

Want to learn NVC with Ali?

Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other's Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

Free Resources

• Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

• Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

Connect with Ali

• Instagram: @alimillercoaching

• Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

• Email: [email protected]

• Website: www.alimillercoaching.com

Important note: The tools I share in this episode and all of the episodes on this podcast are suited for people who are in a safe relationship. If you do not feel safe in your relationship, please prioritize your safety. For support with priortizing your safety, in the U.S. you can chat with someone live at The National Domestic Violence Hotline at www.thehotline.org, or call them at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.