In this episode of Love Each Other Better, I'm kicking off a new series on the communication patterns that keep couples stuck — and how to get unstuck. We're starting with one of the most common: when one partner talks more and more to feel heard, while the other gets overwhelmed and pulls away to find relief. It's a loop that leaves both people feeling disconnected, even though both are trying.

I'll introduce a powerful concept from Nonviolent Communication: interrupting for the sake of connection. It's a way to pause, reflect, and stay present without shutting each other down. We'll also talk about reflective listening, and how it can radically shift the energy of a conversation in an instant.

If you've ever felt like you're talking past each other instead of with each other, this one's for you.

Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other's Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

• Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

• Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

• Instagram: @alimillercoaching

• Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

• Email: [email protected]

• Website: www.alimillercoaching.com

In this special episode of Love Each Other Better, I sat down with Brian G. Murphy — author of Love Beyond Monogamy, certified relationship coach, and co-founder of the Queer Theology podcast. In this illuminating interview, Brian shares insights on navigating non-monogamy and open relationships, including:

• How to navigate differing desires between partners and approach the conversation about opening a relationship

• Handling jealousy and fostering intentional, authentic communication

• Why even couples who choose to stay monogamous can benefit from exploring these questions consciously

• Aligning relationships with personal values while considering the impact on your partner

Whether you're exploring the possibility of an open relationship, looking for support in your already-established open relationship, or simply looking to build more authenticity and intentionality into your monogamous partnership, don't miss this opportunity to get high-integrity guidance and insights from Brian G. Murphy.

About Ali's Guest

Brian G. Murphy is an author and certified relationship coach helping people build thriving relationships on their own terms without shame or "shoulds" through his coaching practice Relationshift.

He's also the co-founder of QueerTheology.com, a resource hub, online community, and the longest-running queer spirituality podcast which helps LGBTQ+ and polyamorous people heal from religious harm and live into their values.

He is the author of Love Beyond Monogamy and co-author of Reading The Bible Through Queer Eyes, which will be published by HarperOne in fall 2026.

Connect with Brian G. Murphy

Social Media: @thisisbgm on all the places, but especially Instagram, Threads, and YouTube

Website: https://www.thisisbgm.com

Free Commitment Clarity Checklist - http://thisisbgm.com/commitment

Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other's Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

• Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

• Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

• Instagram: @alimillercoaching

• Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

• Email: [email protected]

• Website: www.alimillercoaching.com

What if generosity isn't something we have to teach or force — but something we're born with?

In this special episode honoring the birthday of Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I share a personal story about my 5-year-old daughter — and how her spontaneous, joyful act of giving reminded me of one of Marshall's most powerful teachings:

"What I want in my life is compassion — a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart."

We'll explore:

• Why generous giving flows naturally when we feel connected and free

• How this principle applies not just to parenting, but to romantic relationships

• What gets in the way of that generosity in couples — and how NVC can help restore it

• A simple question to reflect on in your own relationship today

Plus, I'll share how you and your partner can go deeper with NVC through my 9-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: Stop Fighting (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs)

If you're longing for more joy and spontaneous generosity in your relationship — this one's for you.

Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other's Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

• Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

• Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

• Instagram: @alimillercoaching

• Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

• Email: [email protected]

• Website: www.alimillercoaching.com

Important note: The tools I share in this episode and all of the episodes on this podcast are suited for people who are in a safe relationship. If you do not feel safe in your relationship, please prioritize your safety. For support with priortizing your safety, in the U.S. you can chat with someone live at The National Domestic Violence Hotline at www.thehotline.org, or call them at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.

Ever feel like you're "in trouble" with your partner—even though you're a grown adult? That tight feeling in your chest, the urge to defend yourself, shut down, or appease… it's more common than you think. And it's not your fault.

In this episode, we explore how growing up in a punitive culture wires us to associate conflict with danger—and how that fear shows up in our adult relationships. Using the lenses of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Terry Real's Adaptive Child vs. Wise Adult, and self-compassion, we look at how to shift from self-protection to connection, even when emotions run high.

You'll learn:

• Why the "I'm in trouble" feeling gets triggered in conflict

• How to recognize when your Adaptive Child is in the driver's seat

• Ways to offer yourself empathy so you can show up in your relationship from your Wise Adult self

• Practical NVC tools to respond with connection instead of self-protection

Whether you're in a partnership or want to prepare for one, this episode is an invitation to soften, slow down, and connect—with yourself and your loved ones.

Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other's Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

• Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

• Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

• Instagram: @alimillercoaching

• Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

• Email: [email protected]

• Website: www.alimillercoaching.com

Important note: The tools I share in this episode and all of the episodes on this podcast are suited for people who are in a safe relationship. If you do not feel safe in your relationship, please prioritize your safety. For support with priortizing your safety, in the U.S. you can chat with someone live at The National Domestic Violence Hotline at www.thehotline.org, or call them at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.

Ever find yourself wondering, "Do I even matter to him/her/them?" despite all you do?

That painful question points to a fundamental human need: to contribute, to be seen, and to know that your presence truly makes a difference. When this need goes unmet, relationships can grow distant and disheartening.

In this episode, we explore why appreciation isn't just a nice gesture — it's essential emotional medicine that helps relationships heal and thrive. But more than that, it's a practice you can build — a new habit of truly noticing, acknowledging, and expressing gratitude in ways that land deeply with your partner.

You'll learn:

• How contribution is the key to a fulfilling life — and why we need feedback in order to get that need fully met

• Why expressing appreciation often feels vulnerable — and how to lean into that vulnerability for the sake of authentic connection

• Practical tips for cultivating a daily appreciation practice that strengthens your bond

• How Nonviolent Communication (NVC) guides us to give heartfelt, specific feedback that actually sticks.

Whether you feel unseen or want to show your partner they matter, this episode offers tools and insights to help you build appreciation into your relationship as a powerful healing habit.

Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other's Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

• Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

• Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

• Instagram: @alimillercoaching

• Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

• Email: [email protected]

• Website: www.alimillercoaching.com

What happens when a seasoned debater embraces the compassionate lens of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)? In this episode, I'm joined by writer and commentator Margot Magowan, who has debated on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, and Good Morning America—and now finds herself navigating the delicate intersection between advocacy and empathy.

Margot shares her evolving journey from using sharp logic to influence others (including her daughter) to practicing deep empathic listening—and how that shift has transformed her family life. We explore what it's been like for her to integrate NVC into parenting, marriage, and public discourse.

This conversation doesn't offer easy answers—and that's what makes it so rich. Margot is actively grappling with big questions: — Can NVC truly coexist with the drive to change minds—or change the world? — How do we speak with passion while still seeing the humanity in those we disagree with? — When is it time to listen, and when is it time to speak up?

If you've ever wondered how to blend NVC with social change work—how to hold compassion for all people while staying rooted in your values—this episode is for you.

About Margot Magowan: Margot is a writer and commentator whose work has appeared on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, Good Morning America, and other major media platforms. Her fiction is featured in the HarperCollins anthology Sugar In My Bowl. Today, she's passionate about Nonviolent Communication and supports other parents through NVC-based support groups and coaching. To learn more, you can reach her at [email protected]

Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs). Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other's Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

• Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

• Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

• Instagram: @alimillercoaching

• Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

• Email: [email protected]

• Website: www.alimillercoaching.com

Do you feel unheard in your relationship—or like every conversation turns into an argument?

In this episode, we'll unpack what's really going on when you and your partner get stuck in blame, defensiveness, or silence. You'll learn how to truly listen (and get listened to) using the powerful tools of Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

We cover:

• What's really underneath most conflict

• Why empathy changes everything

• How to stop defending and start connecting

• Simple questions that shift the dynamic fast

If you're longing to feel more understood, emotionally safe, and connected in your relationship, this episode will offer both insight and practical tools.

Explore my 9-week private coaching program for couples: Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) Includes my signature training: Hearing Each Other's Hearts: NVC Essentials for Couples Learn more: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

• Feelings & Needs Cheatsheets: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

• Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

• Instagram: @alimillercoaching

• Free Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

• Email: [email protected]

• Website: www.alimillercoaching.com

In this episode, I'm unpacking one of the most common — and most disconnecting — phrases I hear in relationships: "You made me feel…"

It sounds honest. It feels true. But in reality, it often leads to defensiveness, arguments, and emotional distance.

Drawing from the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I'll walk you through why this phrase contains a subtle form of blame — even if you don't mean it that way — and how shifting the way you express your feelings can lead to more understanding, more connection, and more of your needs being met.

You'll learn:

• Why saying "You made me feel…" can derail communication

• The key difference between stimulating feelings vs. causing them

• A more effective and connected way to talk about your emotions

• How to take self-responsibility without self-blame — and why it matters

If you've ever felt like you're trying to be honest, but it only seems to start a fight, this episode will give you a new way forward.

🎧 Want more tools like this? Come join my free private Facebook group: NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time It's a space to connect with me, ask your questions, and get support from others who are practicing these tools in real life.

Free Resources

Feelings and Needs Cheatsheets: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

Free Mini-Course: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In: www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

Connect with your host!

IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching

Private + Free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com

Teri and David have been married for nearly 41 years, and like many couples, they often found themselves caught in repetitive arguments—both about new challenges and unresolved old issues. In this uplifting episode, they share how Ali's NVC-based Small Group Coaching Program for Couples gave them practical tools to openly discuss and finally resolve both fresh conflicts and long-standing tensions without pulling away from each other. By putting Nonviolent Communication into practice, they broke the cycle of sweeping problems under the rug and discovered renewed hope, empathy, and a stronger connection. Their inspiring journey shows it's never too late to transform how you communicate and relate.

Connect with Ali:

Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com

IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching

Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

Book a call with Ali: https://www.calendly.com/alimillercoaching/45

Email Ali: [email protected]

We tell kids to "use your words" — but the truth is, most adults still don't know how.

We hide our feelings, fear sounding "needy," and hope our partners will just know what we need — then feel hurt or resentful when they don't.

In this episode, I unpack why adult communication breaks down so often, how unmet needs and unspoken feelings quietly sabotage our relationships, and why using your words — with clarity, vulnerability, and skill — can be the most powerful thing you do to get closer, feel seen, and have your needs met.

You'll learn how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) helps you speak honestly without starting a fight, and how this one shift — using your words intentionally — can change everything in your relationship, from tension, frustration, and resentment to clarity, closeness, and care.

🎧 Whether you're feeling misunderstood, walking on eggshells, or just tired of the same old arguments — this one's for you.

Get your free lists of feelings and needs here: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

Connect with Ali:

IG: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching

Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

Email me: [email protected]

Website: https://www.alimillercoaching.com