Love Each Other Better

In this thought-provoking episode of the Love Each Other Better podcast, I sit down with Jen Lumanlan, host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast and author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World. Join us for an introduction to how white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism shape family dynamics and influence parenting approaches, and how to shift out of traditional power dynamics to make family life easier and more connecting.

Jen shares powerful insights and practical tools to help parents navigate conflicts and create family environments where everyone's needs—parents' and children's alike—are honored. From addressing the micro moments where resistance in children shows up to exploring deep concepts like white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism and how they intersect in our families, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming family relationships and beyond.

Whether you're a parent seeking to navigate the pressures of modern life or someone looking to create a more just and collaborative family dynamic, this episode is packed with inspiration and actionable strategies.

Tune in and start building a family culture rooted in equality, trust, and compassion today.

About Jen Lumanlan

JEN LUMANLAN, MS, MEd, (she/her) hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which was named Best Research-Based Parenting Podcast by Lifehacker and has been downloaded almost 4 million times.

After attending Berkeley and Yale and following a traditional career path in sustainability consulting, Jen found that parenting was her toughest challenge yet. She went back to school for a master's degree in psychology focused on child development and another in education, and trained as a Co-Active coach to share what she learned with other parents.

Her work has been featured in outlets such as Psychology Today, Romper, and NPR.

Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World.

Jen's Resources

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YourParentingMojo

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourparentingmojo/

Website: https://www.yourparentingmojo.com

Take Jen's quiz: Tell Me What My Child Needs! https://www.yourparentingmojo.com/quiz When you understand your child's most important need and meet that more often, they'll stop resisting you as much.

Read Jen's book: Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family and the World: https://yourparentingmojo.com/book/

Listen to Jen's podcast: Your Parenting Mojo: https://yourparentingmojo.com/episodes/

Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop (open anytime; just $7 with coupon code ALIMILLER) - shows you how to set limits effectively, and also set far fewer of them than you ever thought possible, without being a permissive parent!

Taming Your Triggers workshop (opens every ~Oct and Feb) - helps parents understand the real causes of their triggered feelings, begin to heal those hurts so they feel triggered less often, and repair more effectively on the fewer occasions when it does still happen.

Parenting Membership (opens every May) - provides ongoing support for parenting challenges - from tantrums/meltdowns, screen time, and raising healthy eaters to getting on the same page with your parenting partner.

Connect with Ali Miller

Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

Website: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching

NVC for Couples Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples/

Email: [email protected]

In Episode 21 of the Love Each Other Better podcast, I'm joined by clinical psychologist, neuropsychologist, and certified parenting coach, Dr. Gila, to explore self-regulation strategies and their transformative impact on intimate relationships. Dr. Gila is a master at simplifying complex concepts in interpersonal neurobiology while providing practical, actionable tools for managing emotional stress so we can thrive in our relationships.

In this illuminating episode that is infused with compassion, Dr. Gila discusses the importance of self-awareness, daily self-care practices, and how to effectively navigate moments of emotional overwhelm. You'll gain insights into the fight-flight-freeze response, what happens when we "flip our lids," practical ways to pause and reconnect, and how to strengthen emotional resilience within relationships.

Tune in for science-based strategies, compassionate expert advice, and empowering tools to love each other better—even in the toughest moments.

~

Dr. Gila (she/her) is a Jai-certified parent coach and certified Clini-Coach®, in addition to being a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist. Most importantly, she's a single mom.

Dr. Gila specializes in single parenting with connection, not perfection. She is passionate about helping single parents build healthy relationships with their kids AND themselves, through workshops, individual coaching, and her group program, The SingleParentology™ Lab. Her motto is: Even if you're on your own, you don't have to do it alone!

Connect with Dr. Gila!

COACHING: Dr. Gila Parenting Website: www.drgilaparenting.com Email: [email protected] IG: www.instagram.com/drgila_parenting FB: www.facebook.com/drgilaparenting/ Free resources:

1. PDF GUIDE: Tantrums, & Meltdowns, & Rages...Oh My! The single parent's guide to understanding challenging behaviors (https://www.drgilaparenting.com/SP_tantrum_signup)
2. AUDIO: Guided Meditation for Single Parents (https://www.drgilaparenting.com/SP_meditation)
3. VIDEO: What Every Parent Needs to Know When the S**T Hits the Fan. (https://www.drgilaparenting.com/3truths)

THERAPY: GZR Psychology Services, PLLC * Website: www.gzrpsychology.com * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 914-292-3978 * Location: Fully virtual. NYS residents only. * Insurance: Private pay. Superbills offered where appropriate.

Connect with Ali Miller

Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com

https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching

[email protected]

In this enlightening episode I'm joined by Sarah Peyton, a renowned neuroscience educator, author, and certified Nonviolent Communication trainer. We delve into the fascinating intersection of neuroscience and Nonviolent Communication, unpacking how our understanding of trauma, nervous system states, and attachment styles can profoundly influence our relationships.

Key Topics Include:

• The neuroscience of attachment styles and their impact on relationships

• How trauma affects emotional regulation and relational dynamics

• The role of Nonviolent Communication in fostering secure attachments

• Insights into different attachment styles and their significance

• The healing potential of emotional accompaniment in relationships

• Practical resources for those struggling with relationship challenges

Whether you're seeking to deepen your connections or navigate relationship hurdles, this episode highlights the transformative power of both understanding the neuroscience of relationships and practicing Nonviolent Communication to enhance relational dynamics and emotional well-being.

Tune in for an inspiring conversation that equips you with the tools we all need to love each other better!

RESOURCES

Sarah Peyton's resources

Website: https://www.sarahpeyton.com

• Go to https://www.sarahpeyton.com and press the Start Healing Now button to receive the free guided meditations Sarah mentioned in this episode

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/empathybrain/

Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJ_wotaL-ZoZefuLdgEGkQ

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sarahpeytonauthor/

Linked In https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-peyton-5979903

Ali Miller's resources

**Small Group Coaching Program for Couples** https://www.alimillercoaching.com/groupcoachingprogram

Website: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com

FREE Mini-Course for Couples: The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In https://www.alimillercoaching.com/freeminicourse

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/alimillercoaching

💞 Join my Private Facebook Group: NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time https://www.facebook.com/groups/NVCforCouples

How do you keep the spark alive with your partner when life feels like a never-ending to-do list?

In this very special episode, you get to be a fly on the wall as I sit down with Noelle and Frank, a married couple caught in the familiar struggle of staying emotionally and physically connected amid the demands of modern family life. Through live, real-time coaching, we:

• Uncover the hidden assumptions, miscommunication, and unmet needs creating distance between them.
• Use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) tools to clear up misunderstandings and foster deeper empathy.
• Craft a practical, personalized plan to reconnect in ways that truly work for each of them.

You'll witness firsthand how this NVC-based coaching helped Noelle and Frank move from frustration to clarity—from feeling stuck to having a solid action plan for lasting connection.

Join us for an unfiltered, heartfelt conversation about how to nurture love, intimacy, and understanding when your relationship is buried under logistics and obligations. Because thriving partnerships don't happen by chance—they're built intentionally, one heart-centered conversation at a time.

Resources

Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings and sacrificing your needs): 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com/StopFighting

Ali's website: https://www.AliMillerCoaching.com

Would you like to get coached on the podcast? Email [email protected] to express your interest and Ali will get back to you soon!

In this inspiring episode, we explore the nuances of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) with Dr. Rachael Meir, addressing common questions and concerns about polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of ethical/consensual non-monogamy. Dr. Meir breaks down the distinctions between terms like ENM and polyamory, explaining how ENM serves as an umbrella concept for a variety of relationship dynamics. We delve into how to create mutually satisfying agreements, manage complex emotions like jealousy, and ensure clear communication within non-monogamous relationships.

Drawing from her expertise in relationships and personal experience, Dr. Meir offers practical insights on how to approach ENM thoughtfully—whether you're exploring it for the first time or already practicing it. We also discuss how non-monogamous relationships challenge the idea that one partner should meet all of our emotional and physical needs and how embracing individual autonomy within partnerships can lead to more fulfilling connections.

For those feeling curious but cautious or wondering how to navigate conversations about opening up a relationship, or succeeding in your already-established non-monogamous relationships, this episode offers valuable guidance. Tune in as we address listener questions and explore how to create ethical, transparent, and consent-driven agreements in non-monogamous relationships.

Guest Expert Bio and Links

Dr. Rachael Meir is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and a Certified Clinical Sexuality Coach with over 15 years of experience in the field. She earned her PsyD (Doctorate of Psychology) from the PGSP-Stanford PsyD Consortium and BA from the University of Colorado, Boulder. Dr. Meir is sex-positive, LGBTQIA+ affirming, BDSM/kink aware and she specializes in ethical/consensual non-monogamy, including swinging, open relationships, polyamory, and other alternative relationships and lifestyles. As a bisexual woman living in a polyamorous triad relationship herself, she is dedicated to helping people navigate the challenges of opening their relationships and successfully sustaining multiple sexual and romantic partnerships.

https://www.drrachaelmeir.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drrachaelmeircoaching/ https://www.facebook.com/drrachaelmeircoaching https://www.tiktok.com/@triadandtrue

https://www.drrachaelmeir.com/resourcelist

Ali's Resources

Learn more about Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/StopFighting

In this episode, we dive into the hard-to-admit but common feeling of "hating" your spouse. What does it really mean when those emotions surface, and where do they come from? We'll explore the dysfunctional communication patterns—like criticism, contempt, and defensiveness—that often fuel resentment and emotional distance in relationships. More importantly, we'll break down how unmet needs can drive those patterns and offer practical ways to interrupt the cycle, rebuild trust, and reconnect with your partner. If you've ever felt stuck in a negative dynamic, this episode is for you. Tune in to discover how to shift from conflict to collaboration, and start healing the disconnect.

Resources:

Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

Free Feelings and Needs lists: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight without Giving In: Free Mini-Course: https://www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

Book a call! www.calendly.com/alimillercoaching/45

In this episode we're diving into the most common and critical mistake couples make—and it's not what you might think. Join me to explore why waiting until your relationship is in crisis before seeking support can be a recipe for heartbreak. I'll share insights from over two decades of working with couples, revealing the patterns that lead to thriving partnerships and those that struggle to survive.

We'll break down the importance of proactive relationship support, normalizing the need for it long before things reach a breaking point. Whether you're early on in your relationship, newlyweds, expecting or current parents, or empty-nesters, this episode will inspire you to enhance your relationship skills now, rather than waiting until it's too late.

Through this conversation, I aim to shift the narrative around couples therapy and couples coaching, encouraging you to see it as a powerful tool for growth and connection, not just a last resort. Tune in to learn how the skills taught in Nonviolent Communication can be a game-changer for your relationship, helping you and your partner communicate better, navigate conflict with compassion, and ultimately, love each other better.

Links

Book a Call: Schedule a no-pressure consult call with Ali to talk about how you can get your relationship from where it is to where you want it to be --> www.calendly.com/alimillercoaching/45-minute-consultation

Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs): 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples --> www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

Email me: [email protected]

This episode is a bit different from my usual focus on romantic relationships, as I dive into the parent-child dynamic. While today's discussion is tailored for parents, the principles I'll explore are just as applicable to your relationship with your partner or anyone you spend time with, making this episode valuable for everyone.

As a mom to a four-year-old, parenting has become a central part of my life, prompting me to seek out resources and support that align with my values. After attending a recent parenting summit, I felt compelled to share insights on enhancing our relationships with our children through the lens of Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

In this episode, we'll delve into the essence of NVC that has become my anchor in parenting: collaborative problem-solving. We'll discuss how collaboration, rooted in the core NVC principle that everyone's needs matter, can transform our decision-making processes and strengthen our bonds with our kids. By prioritizing a collaborative mindset, we can move away from the traditional "power-over" mode and create an environment where our children's voices are heard and valued.

Whether you're navigating everyday decisions like what to eat for a snack or more significant choices like schooling options, embracing collaboration can help ensure that all needs are considered. I'll share personal stories and practical strategies on how to slow down, lean into moments of disagreement, and foster a family dynamic where everyone's needs are honored.

Join me as to explore how this approach not only empowers our children but also lays the foundation for healthier, more connected relationships across the board. Even if you don't have kids, the principles I discuss will resonate with anyone looking to improve their communication and relationship skills.

Tune in to discover how embracing a collaborative mindset can help us all love each other better. And don't forget to share your thoughts and experiences in my private Facebook group, NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time, or message me on Instagram @alimillercoaching. I can't wait to hear from you!

Resources

Join my private Facebook Group, NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time: www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

Follow or message me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/alimillercoaching

In episode 14, "Client Spotlight: Margot and Dan," I have something truly special for you. This is my first episode featuring a real, live couple who have been coaching clients of mine. Margot and Dan sat down with me to share their journey, experiences, and the transformative impact of NVC and coaching on their relationship.

In this episode, you'll hear firsthand about the challenges they've overcome, the skills they've honed, and the growth they've achieved together. They even demonstrate some of the communication techniques they've been practicing as they work through a real issue, offering a glimpse into the practical side of couples coaching and what you'll learn to do if you work with me. I'm thrilled to introduce you to these two amazing individuals and share their inspiring story with you. This is an episode you won't want to miss!

Resources

Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed by anger and wondered what's truly fueling it? In today's episode, "What's Underneath Your Anger?", I dive deep into a cathartic experience I just had that unveiled the tender feelings lurking beneath my own anger.

Join me as I explore the vulnerable emotions that often underlie anger, such as stress, fear, guilt, and helplessness. I'll share how a powerful song led me to an emotional release, uncovering the fear that had been fueling my anger for years. This revelation didn't just bring me personal healing—it also brought relational healing by transforming my understanding of others' anger, including my ex-partner's.

Discover how embracing and getting curious about our anger can lead to profound self-empathy and empathy for others. I'll provide practical tips and exercises to help you identify the vulnerable feelings beneath your anger, fostering greater compassion and connection in your relationships.

Tune in to learn how you can turn conflict into connection by addressing the feelings beneath your anger, and hear about my personal journey towards healing and understanding. Don't miss out on this transformative episode!

Episode Highlights:

• The tender feelings that often lie beneath anger

• My emotional breakthrough and how it reshaped my perspective of my ex-partner

• A practical exercise to explore the feelings under your anger

• How to transform anger into empathy and connection in your relationships

Links and Resources:

• The Keep Going Song by The Bengsons on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs-ju_L9pEQ

• Free feelings list: www.alimillercoaching.com/feelingsandneeds

• Join our Facebook group: NVC for Couples: Transform Your Relationship One Conversation at a Time: https://www.facebook.com/groups/nvcforcouples

• Learn about my Private Coaching Program for Couples: www.alimillercoaching.com/stopfighting

If this episode resonates with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Let's get curious about what's underneath our anger and start healing together.