Ever wonder how emotionally intelligent you are? 

Emotional intelligence is one of those things that we all instinctively know we need and want, but yet few of us can actually define it. So, what does it mean to be emotionally intelligent and perhaps more importantly, how does it look (and not look) in our day to day relationships?

In this episode, author and psychologist Nick Wignall joins us to discuss what behaviors emotionally intelligent people DON'T do. Follow along and you might just get some insight into your level of emotional intelligence, as well as tips for avoiding bad habits that are keeping you from making emotional progress.

Guest: Nick Wignall, is a licensed psychologist who specializes in treatments for anxiety and insomnia. He is also the author of Find Your Therapy: A Practical Guide to Finding Quality Therapy. His writings have been featured in media outlets including NBC News, Business Insider, and Inc. Nick is also the host of Minds and Mics podcast.

Nick did his doctoral training in clinical psychology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas and is board certified by the American Board of Professional Psychology, a Diplomate of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, as well as a member of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies and the New Mexico Psychological Association. 

To learn more about Nick's work, go to www.NickWignall.com.

SHOW NOTES

6:15 So what's the big deal with emotional intelligence anyway? And why is it important for us to understand and work to develop it?

10:15 Being a critical thinker is different than being critical. Listen here to learn how this ties to the first thing Nick has found that emotionally intelligent people don't do.

15:00 It's difficult to be curious and critical at the same time and here's how to trade criticism for curiosity.

18:00 Do you find yourself being most critical of the people closest to you? You're not alone and here's why.

19:45 Planning for the future is good; worrying about it isn't. How do we know the difference and how do we keep ourselves from doing it?

23:00 If worrying is so unproductive, why do we keep doing it? What are we trying to overcome?

27:30 If worry is motivated by trying to control the future, ruminating on the past is motivated by the fear of feeling this.

31:30 Opportunity costs aren't just for economists; listen to how it impacts our emotional intelligence.

34:30 If you find yourself worrying about the future or the past, this tip is for you.

36:00 The fourth and final thing emotionally intelligent people don't do involves the people closest to them. It's an unconscious habit that is impacting the relationships around us, even if we don't realize it.

44:00 Expectations are natural but here's a better way to approach the people we love.

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