MY is a recently retired SMSgt PJ who experienced a brutal mission in the 90s, was able to compensate until on OEF mission brought it all to the surface. This first of 2 discussions chronicles his career as the backdrop for the challenges of maintaining a family and operating during a time where we did not discuss these things and did not have the right support available, and then how it all came out and was difficult to recognize what was going on, until finally seeking help and getting it.