Welcome to Season 2. What do you say to a 3 year old when he starts to ask about why his mother is not alive? This was the question that I found myself having to answer in the latter part of last year.

This month's episodes covers the last stage of grief, acceptance. It is probably one of the hardest stages to work through and is still a work in progress.

This month I discuss the Depression stage of grief as I recently found myself coping with the emotional and physical effects of Debbie's loss. I was surprised by this as I had been trying so hard to fight off these feelings and building walls up to protect myself. However, here I am finding myself at times sad, loss and at times feeling hopeless.

Me at my most vulnerable. This month I have decided to allow the walls down when it comes to answering questions about my grief. It is an unedited view of my life and how my world has changed since Debbie's death.

The questions I used were from Grief Counseling Homework Planner by Phil Rich (2001); published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Also check out the Spotify playlist, When We Fall Apart. A collection of songs that helped me get through this episode.

This month's episode covers Debbie and my last adventure together that started at least a year before she got sick and was finished six months after her death; that was the adoption of our son, JoJo. That is the nickname Debbie gave him. I believe that God does all things with purpose and having JoJo come into our life at this time was a blessing to us both. It is fitting that his name means, "God heals."

In the process of going through the grieving process we tend to ask the questions "Why?" to help cope or make sense of the loss. My search for the answer lead me down two different paths; that of the mind and that of the heart. This month I share how I came to a possible answer to "why I found myself 46 & Widowed."

References:

Becker S, Jonigk D, Luft A, Dübbel L, Werlein C, Malik E, Schild-Suhren M. COVID-19 can lead to rapid progression of cervical intraepithelial neoplasia by dysregulating the immune system: A hypothesis. J Reprod Immunol. 2022Dec;154:103763. doi: 10.1016/j.jri.2022.103763. Epub 2022 Nov 9. PMID:36399874; PMCID: PMC9645588.

National Cancer Institute. Cervical cancer stages. National Institute of Health. 2025 May 16. https://www.cancer.gov/types/cervical/stages#_34

Nichols H. Septic embolism: Symptoms, causes, treatment. Medical News Today. 2024 Mar 18. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/sepsis-embolism

Zhang S, Xu H, Zhang L, Qiao Y. Cervical cancer: Epidemiology, risk factors and screening. Chin J Cancer Res. 2020 Dec 31;32(6):720-728. doi:10.21147/j.issn.1000-9604.2020.06.05. PMID: 33446995; PMCID: PMC7797226.   

In this monthly episode, I will be discussing the legal issues that come up after the death of my spouse as well as the emotional side following those first few days. I will share my process of handling the legal paperwork as well as speaking about how to comfort someone that is grieving. I will provide my Top 3 "What Not to Say" and end with an issue that is common but highly insensitive to anyone that has loss a loved one.

Note: If you would like for me to further explain or clarify something mentioned in the podcast send me a comment below or email me at [email protected].

You can also find me on Instagram 46andwidowed and X (formally Twitter) @46andWidowed