You're invited to the holiest eight nights of the Apocrypals calendar, dear Theophiloi! It's Approximate Week, aka our mutual birthday! if you're looking for a gift, we have a recommendation for you: how about a nice cold glass of Messiah Boy Bath Water? Join us as we celebrate with another buck wild Infancy Gospel, in which the Son of Man deals with naked women throwing rocks in cemeteries, an eligible bachelor who is temporarily endonkeyed, and his Earth-dad's lack of carpentry skills. It's everything you need for a great party!

Topics of discussion: Birthdays and presents, the King of Kings of Queens, Joshua bar Josef's Bizarre Adventure, the life and death of Alexander the Great, Mary: The King of Women, a regrettably extended discussion of the Holy Prepuce, the five times Jesus bled, Karl der Große, the ado about this mule, the Harold Allnut of Bible, Dumachus, a portal to the live coal dimension, throne building tips.

Hymnal: "Baby Boy" by Beyoncé

Offertory: Each person should do as they have decided in their heart, so if you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals, for the Apocrypals love a cheerful giver.