What's the first thing you should say when your daughter comes home from a camp, tryout, or tournament totally deflated?

In this episode, Susan shares a simple but powerful tool she learned in her life coaching certification called the Ratings Game. It's a set of scaled questions parents and coaches can use to help an athlete process a tough day without spiraling into "I'm not good enough" thinking.

Susan walks through exactly how the tool works, from asking your daughter to rate her performance from 1 to 10, to the crucial follow-up question of "Why isn't it a 1?" that gently gets her focused on what she actually did well. She also shares how to handle the "I don't know" answer, how to reflect her thinking back to her, and a reframe on motivation she calls "gas car vs. electric car," why celebration motivation is faster and more sustainable than being hard on yourself.

If you're holding space for an athlete chasing a big goal, this episode gives you a script you can use the very next time she comes to you upset.

Chapters

00:00 – Behind the scenes at Girls Junior Nationals
02:00 – Advisor vs. recruiter (and what parents often misunderstand)
05:00 – Why college coach interviews matter
07:30 – Doing scary things and building the podcast
11:00 – Where this episode's tool comes from
13:00 – Susan's life coaching certification story
19:00 – Introducing the Ratings Game
20:00 – How to ask the 1-to-10 question
22:00 – The "Why isn't it a 1?" follow-up
23:00 – What to do when she says "I don't know"
25:00 – Celebration motivation vs. lack motivation
28:00 – What would have made it a 10?
29:30 – Reflecting her thinking back to her
31:00 – Focusing on what she can control

Follow Coach Desi on Instagram: @thisiscoachdesi 

Connect with Susan:
Check out the website: www.nxtvb.com
Follow on Instagram + TikTok: @hey.susank