5 Leadership Questions Podcast on Church Leadership with Todd Adkins and Dan Iten

In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and Barnabas Piper talk with Brad Lomenick about the challenges, complexities, and techniques of leading team members you don;t really like very much. We all know those people – they’re annoying, they’re aggressive, they’re a lot of different things. But likable isn’t one of them. But if we’re to be leaders how do we handle those relationships and that friction well? We asked the following questions to help sort this out.

* How important is it to have a team you like?

* Is it possible to build a team full of people you like?

* How can a leader keep personal conflicts from becoming professional obstacles?

* How can a leader diminish conflicts within a team when one person stands out as unpleasant.

* When is the right time to cut ties with an unlikable person?

BEST QUOTES

“I think it’s easier to lead people you’re close to.”

“People will work better when they’re happier; people are happier when they’re with people they like.”

“There’s a difference between liking somebody socially and liking to work with someone.”

“The question you should be asking is whether there’s an incompetence issue.”

“When you knock out a big project together, shoulder to shoulder, it’s really hard not to like that person.”

“Most dislike is really shallow.”

“I hope nobody listening to this knew me in college.”

“As a leader you should not have the goal of everybody on your team being your best friend.”

“It’s the leader’s responsibility to take ownership of relationships.”

“Be the leader who’s willing to confront and say the hard first line.”

“That person is not a worse person because they don’t hold the same viewpoint as you.”

“The hardest conversations you have end up being mile markers for your relationship getting stronger.”

“In the church it can get really messy unless there are some clear boundaries.”

“Leadership development is not an event, it’s a relationship.”

“Just because it’s funny doesn’t mean you have to say it.”

“The leader holds responsibility for the team’s interactions with each other.”

“Cliques are SO divisive on a team.”

“Toxic is different from unlikable.”

“A lot of people who are unlikable, who are jerks, actually get a lot done.”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick

6 Ways to Lead Staff Members You Don’t like

In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and Barnabas Piper talk with Brad Lomenick about the challenges, complexities, and techniques of leading team members you don;t really like very much. We all know those people – they’re annoying, they’re aggressive, they’re a lot of different things. But likable isn’t one of them. But if we’re to be leaders how do we handle those relationships and that friction well? We asked the following questions to help sort this out.

* How important is it to have a team you like?

* Is it possible to build a team full of people you like?

* How can a leader keep personal conflicts from becoming professional obstacles?

* How can a leader diminish conflicts within a team when one person stands out as unpleasant.

* When is the right time to cut ties with an unlikable person?

BEST QUOTES

“I think it’s easier to lead people you’re close to.”

“People will work better when they’re happier; people are happier when they’re with people they like.”

“There’s a difference between liking somebody socially and liking to work with someone.”

“The question you should be asking is whether there’s an incompetence issue.”

“When you knock out a big project together, shoulder to shoulder, it’s really hard not to like that person.”

“Most dislike is really shallow.”

“I hope nobody listening to this knew me in college.”

“As a leader you should not have the goal of everybody on your team being your best friend.”

“It’s the leader’s responsibility to take ownership of relationships.”

“Be the leader who’s willing to confront and say the hard first line.”

“That person is not a worse person because they don’t hold the same viewpoint as you.”

“The hardest conversations you have end up being mile markers for your relationship getting stronger.”

“In the church it can get really messy unless there are some clear boundaries.”

“Leadership development is not an event, it’s a relationship.”

“Just because it’s funny doesn’t mean you have to say it.”

“The leader holds responsibility for the team’s interactions with each other.”

“Cliques are SO divisive on a team.”

“Toxic is different from unlikable.”

“A lot of people who are unlikable, who are jerks, actually get a lot done.”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick

6 Ways to Lead Staff Members You Don’t like

In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and Barnabas Piper talk with Brad Lomenick about the challenges, complexities, and techniques of leading team members you don;t really like very much. We all know those people – they’re annoying, they’re aggressive, they’re a lot of different things. But likable isn’t one of them. But if we’re to be leaders how do we handle those relationships and that friction well? We asked the following questions to help sort this out.

* How important is it to have a team you like?

* Is it possible to build a team full of people you like?

* How can a leader keep personal conflicts from becoming professional obstacles?

* How can a leader diminish conflicts within a team when one person stands out as unpleasant.

* When is the right time to cut ties with an unlikable person?

BEST QUOTES

“I think it’s easier to lead people you’re close to.”

“People will work better when they’re happier; people are happier when they’re with people they like.”

“There’s a difference between liking somebody socially and liking to work with someone.”

“The question you should be asking is whether there’s an incompetence issue.”

“When you knock out a big project together, shoulder to shoulder, it’s really hard not to like that person.”

“Most dislike is really shallow.”

“I hope nobody listening to this knew me in college.”

“As a leader you should not have the goal of everybody on your team being your best friend.”

“It’s the leader’s responsibility to take ownership of relationships.”

“Be the leader who’s willing to confront and say the hard first line.”

“That person is not a worse person because they don’t hold the same viewpoint as you.”

“The hardest conversations you have end up being mile markers for your relationship getting stronger.”

“In the church it can get really messy unless there are some clear boundaries.”

“Leadership development is not an event, it’s a relationship.”

“Just because it’s funny doesn’t mean you have to say it.”

“The leader holds responsibility for the team’s interactions with each other.”

“Cliques are SO divisive on a team.”

“Toxic is different from unlikable.”

“A lot of people who are unlikable, who are jerks, actually get a lot done.”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick

6 Ways to Lead Staff Members You Don’t like

On this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and I spoke with Dr. Sam Storms. Sam is the pastor for preaching and vision at Bridgeway Baptist church in Oklahoma city, an author of several books, the VP of the Evangelical Theological Society, and the head of Enjoying God Ministries. He is also a former (excellent) professor of mine at Wheaton College in Illinois. Dr. Storms joined us a few months ago at The Gospel Coalition conference in florida, and we had a wonderful conversation about pastoral ministry, accountability, and communication as a leader. Sam makes some powerful statements about raising up leaders and qualifications for ministry, especially about being faithful in small things. He is as humble and wise as any leader we have talked with, and you will love his insights.

BEST QUOTES

“Sometimes we’re so chronologically snobbish that we don’t appreciate those who are really advanced in years. We kind of write them off and put them out to pasture.”

“Truth doesn’t change with time; maybe its application does.”

“You can’t force somebody to be accountable . . . If they don’t want to be held accountable they don’t have to be.”

“It’s so important for people to know where their giving is going.”

“People want to know that we at least value them enough that we ask them for their input or at least keep them up to date with information.”

“If people think you’re making decisions arbitrarily and don’t value the opinion of anyone other than the inner-circle they do become suspicious.”

“In every church culture – it’s unavoidable – there’s always an inner-circle.”

“Raising up small group leaders is our greatest challenge.”

“Just because you’ve done well and made a lot of money and are highly regarded in the community doesn’t necessarily qualify you as an elder.”

“You can be very successful in the business world and largely devoid of character, and I’m more concerned with character than I am with competency.”

“Look across the breadth of our local church and ask ‘who’s already shepherding people?’”

“There’s no more dignified, challenging, and fruitful ministry than getting down on your hands and knees in children’s ministry.”

“Some of my biggest regrets are things I wish I had done with my daughters that I didn’t.”

“I hope God was gracious enough to compensate for my failures and my selfishness as a dad.”

“I lead my wife by listening to her and learning from her.”

“You never really know a man’s character until you see how he treats someone who can do him no benefit.”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

SamStorms.com

Packer on the Christian Life

Tough Topics: Biblical Answers to 25 Challenging Questions

Knowing God by J.I. Packer

 

On this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and I spoke with Dr. Sam Storms. Sam is the pastor for preaching and vision at Bridgeway Baptist church in Oklahoma city, an author of several books, the VP of the Evangelical Theological Society, and the head of Enjoying God Ministries. He is also a former (excellent) professor of mine at Wheaton College in Illinois. Dr. Storms joined us a few months ago at The Gospel Coalition conference in florida, and we had a wonderful conversation about pastoral ministry, accountability, and communication as a leader. Sam makes some powerful statements about raising up leaders and qualifications for ministry, especially about being faithful in small things. He is as humble and wise as any leader we have talked with, and you will love his insights.

BEST QUOTES

“Sometimes we’re so chronologically snobbish that we don’t appreciate those who are really advanced in years. We kind of write them off and put them out to pasture.”

“Truth doesn’t change with time; maybe its application does.”

“You can’t force somebody to be accountable . . . If they don’t want to be held accountable they don’t have to be.”

“It’s so important for people to know where their giving is going.”

“People want to know that we at least value them enough that we ask them for their input or at least keep them up to date with information.”

“If people think you’re making decisions arbitrarily and don’t value the opinion of anyone other than the inner-circle they do become suspicious.”

“In every church culture – it’s unavoidable – there’s always an inner-circle.”

“Raising up small group leaders is our greatest challenge.”

“Just because you’ve done well and made a lot of money and are highly regarded in the community doesn’t necessarily qualify you as an elder.”

“You can be very successful in the business world and largely devoid of character, and I’m more concerned with character than I am with competency.”

“Look across the breadth of our local church and ask ‘who’s already shepherding people?’”

“There’s no more dignified, challenging, and fruitful ministry than getting down on your hands and knees in children’s ministry.”

“Some of my biggest regrets are things I wish I had done with my daughters that I didn’t.”

“I hope God was gracious enough to compensate for my failures and my selfishness as a dad.”

“I lead my wife by listening to her and learning from her.”

“You never really know a man’s character until you see how he treats someone who can do him no benefit.”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

SamStorms.com

Packer on the Christian Life

Tough Topics: Biblical Answers to 25 Challenging Questions

Knowing God by J.I. Packer

 

On this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and I spoke with Dr. Sam Storms. Sam is the pastor for preaching and vision at Bridgeway Baptist church in Oklahoma city, an author of several books, the VP of the Evangelical Theological Society, and the head of Enjoying God Ministries. He is also a former (excellent) professor of mine at Wheaton College in Illinois. Dr. Storms joined us a few months ago at The Gospel Coalition conference in florida, and we had a wonderful conversation about pastoral ministry, accountability, and communication as a leader. Sam makes some powerful statements about raising up leaders and qualifications for ministry, especially about being faithful in small things. He is as humble and wise as any leader we have talked with, and you will love his insights.

BEST QUOTES

“Sometimes we’re so chronologically snobbish that we don’t appreciate those who are really advanced in years. We kind of write them off and put them out to pasture.”

“Truth doesn’t change with time; maybe its application does.”

“You can’t force somebody to be accountable . . . If they don’t want to be held accountable they don’t have to be.”

“It’s so important for people to know where their giving is going.”

“People want to know that we at least value them enough that we ask them for their input or at least keep them up to date with information.”

“If people think you’re making decisions arbitrarily and don’t value the opinion of anyone other than the inner-circle they do become suspicious.”

“In every church culture – it’s unavoidable – there’s always an inner-circle.”

“Raising up small group leaders is our greatest challenge.”

“Just because you’ve done well and made a lot of money and are highly regarded in the community doesn’t necessarily qualify you as an elder.”

“You can be very successful in the business world and largely devoid of character, and I’m more concerned with character than I am with competency.”

“Look across the breadth of our local church and ask ‘who’s already shepherding people?’”

“There’s no more dignified, challenging, and fruitful ministry than getting down on your hands and knees in children’s ministry.”

“Some of my biggest regrets are things I wish I had done with my daughters that I didn’t.”

“I hope God was gracious enough to compensate for my failures and my selfishness as a dad.”

“I lead my wife by listening to her and learning from her.”

“You never really know a man’s character until you see how he treats someone who can do him no benefit.”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

SamStorms.com

Packer on the Christian Life

Tough Topics: Biblical Answers to 25 Challenging Questions

Knowing God by J.I. Packer

 

In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. John Townsend. Dr. Townsend is a leadership consultant, a psychologist, a NYT best-selling author, a theologian, and even a musician. We talk about all of that in this episode and he drops some absolute pearls of wisdom. His insights in entitlement from his new book, The Entitlement Cure, are especially helpful. Enjoy!

BEST QUOTES

“The cure for entitlement is the hard way.”

“The actual wiring of the brain can change with two things: relationships and intense experiences.”

“Transformation happens when you have an overlap of knowledge, experience, and coaching.”

“I don’t think we have the right to pick and choose; we’ve got to read all of the Bible.”

“You can learn about leadership from Leviticus.”

“We can’t hide behind the cross and be B-level players.”

“If you have character without competency you have a really nice person who doesn’t get anything done.”

“If you have the competency without character you have someone nobody wants to work for.”

“There are certain areas you can’t fix in competency, but there is no limit in character.”

“There’s no ceiling on character. There can be a ceiling on hunger for character.”

“If you set a ceiling for yourself in character that ceiling perpetually gets lower. If you’re not striving forward you are moving backward.”

“If you review it you keep it.”

“Leaders will confuse strategy and tactics, and that will really bring down an organization.”

“Once you have a strategic plan, no matter how great the tactics are, they must bend their knee to the strategy.”

“Entitlement is not a demographic curse. Entitlement is a human problem.”

“If one person is entitled the toxicity can really take down a team.”

“I understand the need to connect with your children, but God created a generation gap for a reason. You need to give a child something to aspire to.”

“The characteristics of a great leader are very similar to characteristics of a great parent. There are always two dynamics: they are highly warm and also strict.”

“Concentrate more on your internal growth and less on your tool kit.”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

The Entitlement Cure

Boundaries

Townsend Institute for Leadership & Counseling

Rocktangle

The Leadership Challenge by James Kouzes and Barry Posner

Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman

The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker

In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. John Townsend. Dr. Townsend is a leadership consultant, a psychologist, a NYT best-selling author, a theologian, and even a musician. We talk about all of that in this episode and he drops some absolute pearls of wisdom. His insights in entitlement from his new book, The Entitlement Cure, are especially helpful. Enjoy!

BEST QUOTES

“The cure for entitlement is the hard way.”

“The actual wiring of the brain can change with two things: relationships and intense experiences.”

“Transformation happens when you have an overlap of knowledge, experience, and coaching.”

“I don’t think we have the right to pick and choose; we’ve got to read all of the Bible.”

“You can learn about leadership from Leviticus.”

“We can’t hide behind the cross and be B-level players.”

“If you have character without competency you have a really nice person who doesn’t get anything done.”

“If you have the competency without character you have someone nobody wants to work for.”

“There are certain areas you can’t fix in competency, but there is no limit in character.”

“There’s no ceiling on character. There can be a ceiling on hunger for character.”

“If you set a ceiling for yourself in character that ceiling perpetually gets lower. If you’re not striving forward you are moving backward.”

“If you review it you keep it.”

“Leaders will confuse strategy and tactics, and that will really bring down an organization.”

“Once you have a strategic plan, no matter how great the tactics are, they must bend their knee to the strategy.”

“Entitlement is not a demographic curse. Entitlement is a human problem.”

“If one person is entitled the toxicity can really take down a team.”

“I understand the need to connect with your children, but God created a generation gap for a reason. You need to give a child something to aspire to.”

“The characteristics of a great leader are very similar to characteristics of a great parent. There are always two dynamics: they are highly warm and also strict.”

“Concentrate more on your internal growth and less on your tool kit.”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

The Entitlement Cure

Boundaries

Townsend Institute for Leadership & Counseling

Rocktangle

The Leadership Challenge by James Kouzes and Barry Posner

Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman

The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker

In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast Todd Adkins and I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. John Townsend. Dr. Townsend is a leadership consultant, a psychologist, a NYT best-selling author, a theologian, and even a musician. We talk about all of that in this episode and he drops some absolute pearls of wisdom. His insights in entitlement from his new book, The Entitlement Cure, are especially helpful. Enjoy!

BEST QUOTES

“The cure for entitlement is the hard way.”

“The actual wiring of the brain can change with two things: relationships and intense experiences.”

“Transformation happens when you have an overlap of knowledge, experience, and coaching.”

“I don’t think we have the right to pick and choose; we’ve got to read all of the Bible.”

“You can learn about leadership from Leviticus.”

“We can’t hide behind the cross and be B-level players.”

“If you have character without competency you have a really nice person who doesn’t get anything done.”

“If you have the competency without character you have someone nobody wants to work for.”

“There are certain areas you can’t fix in competency, but there is no limit in character.”

“There’s no ceiling on character. There can be a ceiling on hunger for character.”

“If you set a ceiling for yourself in character that ceiling perpetually gets lower. If you’re not striving forward you are moving backward.”

“If you review it you keep it.”

“Leaders will confuse strategy and tactics, and that will really bring down an organization.”

“Once you have a strategic plan, no matter how great the tactics are, they must bend their knee to the strategy.”

“Entitlement is not a demographic curse. Entitlement is a human problem.”

“If one person is entitled the toxicity can really take down a team.”

“I understand the need to connect with your children, but God created a generation gap for a reason. You need to give a child something to aspire to.”

“The characteristics of a great leader are very similar to characteristics of a great parent. There are always two dynamics: they are highly warm and also strict.”

“Concentrate more on your internal growth and less on your tool kit.”

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

The Entitlement Cure

Boundaries

Townsend Institute for Leadership & Counseling

Rocktangle

The Leadership Challenge by James Kouzes and Barry Posner

Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman

The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker